sz
MaliciousArtDenomination
July 1995 Unofficial Newsletter
Author: Sub-ZeroX / MAD Flounder
Damnit, What can I say? I feel like drawing again for no special
reason. I desided to make this newsletter Unofficial since from the comments
that I have heard from the people that read it say that they dont get any
NEWS from it anyways, and they read it just for the Super Backflip Sub-ZeroX
greets. Well, If thats all youre looking for, then I just wated to warn
you that Ive made a few changes to what Im writing this month. This 07/95
pack was suppose to suck hardcore, but it has been salvaged quite a bit.
The disasters this month were: Georges Car Even with the addition of Techron
Gasoline has desided that life is not worth it at this point in time. Twitch
and Flashpoints Modem has also desided that Georges car had a good idea going
and decided to leave this plane of existance in a big *poof*. Doomsday had
a close brush with the Reaper. Satan desided that he was bored down there in
hell and decided to buy a modem. Much to the joy of Psylark. Also I must
WARN you, Psychopsylark has released in this pack, A BMP. DO NOT VIEW IT, as
It will summon evil spirits into your modem and computer causing you to install
Linux and rant endlessly about how much better Linux is and how everyone in the
world uses it. But, Such disasters can not keep this Minty Cool Fresh Group
down for too long.
This month we had some happy fluffy things happen too! Cube joined! So We
here at MAD give Cube a Super Elite Parakeet Greet. Not only that MAD Fans
but If you order now, you get a Lord Regulator Absolutely free! Lord Regulator
Dices, and Slices, but thats not all! With your introductory membership to
MAD we will also throw in a Amazing Discoveries Dosent Dent, Dosent scratch,
Dosent Burn in the Heat Greet! And the Most IMPORTANT news of all is that
Zippo, our once Psychic Apprentice has Graduated to become A Fully Fledged
Psychic Advisor!! Lets all give Zippo a happy cheerleader GO ROCKETS Smile.
We have been so long without the wise advice of Sabotage Our Head Psy. Advisor
that we at MAD fear that we have gone astray. Recently, during a dream I had
a Fluffy Purple Mushroom said to me Yoooo Havvvee Sinned. and I said back
to the Mushroom, What the fuck? and It just looked at me.. and sat there lik
eI was suppose to do something, So, I picked up the Mushroom, and I ate it..
Wouldnt you know it, IT TASTED LIKE GRAPES!!! That Means..... well.. I dont
know.. but Hopefully Sabotage will help us here at MAD decypher what that
dream means, and what changes MAD Must make in order to please the Pknunk.
As I said Eariler, Psylark drew something this month, and He told me that he
wanted me to announce that he loves Angels and God, And Fluffy Creatures.
He also pointed out that he wanted me to tell everyone that he thinks that
Happy Bunny Rabbits are the most perfect of Gods creatures. Last time I talke
dto Psylark he was listening to Christian Rap music and enjoying a refreshing
Zeltzer Seltzer Strawberry Flavor.
THIS IS SATAN, I HAVE POSSESED THE SOUL OF YOUR LEADER, SUB-ZEROX TO TELL YOU
AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE. I HAVE HERE, IN HELL, ELVIS.. IF YOU WANT HIM BACK
THE RANSOM IS YOUR SOUL.. IF YOU ARE INTERESTED MY NEW E-MAIL ADDRESS IS
BEZELBUB@HADES.ORG.. THANK YOU FOOLISH HUMANS... I WILL NOW RELINQUISH THE
SOUL OF YOUR PRECIOUS FOUNDER.. TILL NEXT TIME IGNORANT CHILDREN... *MUHAHAHAH*
... I forgot what I was going to say... Hmm. Oh well, I hate it when that
happens. Oh, Now I remember, I was talking about Happy Christian Rap music..
thats it... But for some reason, I dont feel to compelled to talk about that
right now. *sigh*
I Put something new this month. The Super Spontanious Sub-ZeroX Awards!
Deathrai is awarded with the most prestigious of all Sub-ZeroX awards
He is awarded the POTATO POWER AWARD... We here at MAD
1st are so proud that we give you a G-Man OK and a -Deathra
i Sub-ZeroX Thumps up with a tongue sticking out.
Bane gets the Sub-ZeroX HORNY BUNNY RABBIT AWARD for having
the mosts ansis this month.
HB-Bane Dreamweaver gets the Sub-ZeroX 59 Diner AWARD For havin
g the Niftiest 25 Line pic this month.
59-Dreamweave
r G-Man gets the Sub-ZeroX CROSS DRESSING
AWARD For Having the Prettiest Ansis this
month.
CD-Gman
Lord Regulator Gets the Sub-ZeroX DANCE TO DISC
O AWARD for having the most BIZARE ASCIIS IN
THE HISTORY OF THE Malicious Art Denomination!
Lord Regulator, we here at mad.. truely adore
BZ-Lord Regulator you.
To all of you who recieved an award this month, your most humble
flounder salutes you. One Art Group, Under The Clouds, for Liberty
and Ansi, for all.....
As of recent MAD events, one is lead to wonder, exactly what is
Bane thinking when he makes those Coconut asciis. Well, Sub-ZeroX your most
astute researcher of Coconut Temporal Psychology has his theory of what the
hell IS knocking around in that Head of Banes....
The Following was taken out of Banes recent Magnum ad...
/ Oo / .. / -- / oo / / / xx / ** ,, / oo / O / @@
0/ -/ -/ O/ -/ +/ o/ - o/ -/ @/
Look at that! Geezus christ!!! Well here goes..
/ Oo
0/ - W00P!
This one, is probably saying W00P! and is the standard Caribbian Coconut..
This one just farted, and is trying to act like nothing happened....
-/ - Zzzzzzz
This coconut is as you can plainly see... asleep. gman thinks that hes
/ stoned though ..
/ oo
O/ - HOLY SHIT!
This coconut has discovered a way to unscramble the Playboy Channeltm.
-/ - DIE.. DIE.. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAH
I AM SATAN YOU FOOL! LEAVE ME BE!
+/ - *BURP*
This one has had a little too much to drink.. Know when to say when...
o/ - Hey Baby.
This is a prostitute coconut..
- - Hello Comrades, Velcome to Rushka!
This is a Russian Coconut, See the hat, and the symbol?
/ oo
o/ - Wow!!!
This coconut just downloaded the latest madpack.
/ O
This coconut is playing pool. Shhhh!!
/ @@
@/ - ZerpBob Bomwazpofa!
This is an alien Coconut. WATCH OUT! THEY BITE!!!
Well, there you go! Sub-ZeroX uncovers the secrets of the universe once again.
Speaking of secrets of the universe..... Guess what I got here!? I have for
you, The drumroll Super Duper Pickup a Hooker if shes a Looker Sub-ZeroX
ELiTE Greets!! *WOOP!* *YEA!!!!* *CLAP CLAP CLAP* *WHOOF WHOOF WHOOF WHOOF*
Guess whos been bugging me for a realy cool greet this month? WHO MR. ZEROX?
Why FLASHPOINT Of course. So, Flashpoint, you get the First of the Sub-ZeroX
EliTE Greets this month. Flashpoint gets a Karate Kick,Back Flip,Break A Brick
with a wooden stick Greet. TA DOW... Bane gets a Coconut out of the rut,
cyberslut greet. Man, Mr. ZeroX, You rock... Gman gets a Opera Singing
Taco Slinging Tripple Half Ganer into a pool of Snapple greet. Cube gets a
abc irc xyz,look at me greet. Uh.. hold on, I feel kinda.. I AM SATAN.. AND
I WILL GET A GREET NOW. SATAN YOU ARE COOL, I GIVE YOU A,TACO BELL,BURN IN HELL
WHATS THAT SMELL? GREET. MUHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH... I feel better now.. that
was a strange feeling.. Like.. I was posessed or something.. oh well.. Anyway
sTwitch gets a funky itch backflip snitch whatsup bitch? greet. Deathrai gets
a tripple summersault off of the kitchen sink into the bathroom with a forward
quadruple-sow-cow greet. Dreamweaver gets a Super Dooper Sub-ZeroX Aproved
Woop Group Greet. Doomsday gets a plain normal no nothing special like a
backflip or summersault greet. Reptile-X also gets a plain, black and white
nothing special or anything like that greet because I gave them both neato
greets last time woop. *THE END*
o
/ This month includes a special Zip for Gman. This Zip
/ Includes special misc. files and thing that have no
/ point what so ever.. The File name is GMAN.ZIP. Please
disregard that zip and any contents found inside.
. Thank you,
/ Sub-ZeroX
*KUPO!*
Thanks to the Power of the WWW on the Internet, Sub-ZeroX has captured for
your evaluations from the Mentos Home page, the Commercial Synopsis from all
the Memtos commercials ever created!!! I know how excited you are, so Ill
quit talking and let you feast your eyes on this superb MENTOS info!
1. The Broken Shoe or High Heel Treachery
A sassy young lady sashays past an open air French style cafe,
gaining the attention of a business man, and at the same time
interrupting his newspaper enjoyment. As she glides past, a footwear
malfunction occurs, leaving her sans one heel. She reaches for her
secret freshness inducer, Mentos. After administering a piece of the
magic elixir of nuttiness, she breaks off the remaining spike,
proclaiming to the world her resourcefulness, and endless freshness.
The man in the cafe is undoubtedly impressed.
2. The Fake Photographer or Those Crazy Kids I
A young lad and his pals file through a mob of fanatics and
paparazzi, in order to get a closer look at their favorite star.
However, their adventure takes them over the legal boundaries of
said activity, which is then pointed out to them by the authorities.
After a bit of contemplation, and a hearty dose of freshness ala
Mentos, our hero cunningly disguises himself as a member of the
media, and breaks through the defenses of the establishment.
3. The Airport Tram Ride or Baggage Claim Blues
A young woman finds herself in a bit of a pinch, as she discovers
that she has packed too much, and her bags are a most bothersome
burden. But she has no fear, it is a burden which is not
insurmountable, especially with Mentos on her side. She unsheathes
her glimmering blue tube of freshness, and holds it out stretched,
like the mighty Excalibur, and although shortening it by 1/14, this
weapon has not lost its power. She consumes the pellet of perkiness,
and decrees that she and only she shall be the one to ride the
baggage cart, and all the other most unfresh patrons of the airport
shall bear the full weight of their baggage. Her friends cheer, and
dream of one day achieving a freshness such as hers.
4. The Car Movers or Overalls and Mentos
Only an unfresh person would park his car in such a way as to make
his fellow motorist unable to go about her merry way, but thats
just what our heroine is faced with in this episode of the Mentos
saga. After an exchange of dirty looks, and communication of the
parkees need for promptness, the young girl contemplates her
dilemma with the aid of a freshmaker. She has a revelation, and
summons what looks to be the Pittsburgh Steelers offensive line from
a construction site across the way. With surprisingly little
convincing, the barbarians lift her Fiat into the road, and as she
thanks them she glances in the way of her nemesis, only to add an
exclamation point to her freshness.
5. Evading Mom or Psycho Mutant Killer Mom
While enjoying a pleasant afternoon at the mall, a teen and his
companions suddenly spot one of their mothers. She raises her
umbrella, signifying that she has acquired her target, and means to
move in for the kill. Quickly searching his person, the teen removes
from his pocket the only thing to help him out of this bind, Mentos.
Thinking quickly, and now sporting fresh, clean breath, he seizes a
baseball cap from a nearby mannequin. The perfect disguise! Placing
it on his head in a diagonal pattern, he strikes a pose and avoids
his pursuer. She spots him again, but this time only after entering
the escalator. Knowing she has been vanquished, mom shakes her
weapon yet again, all the while thinking, My son is sooo fresh!
6. Through the Car or The 3 Second Car Jacking
There is little peace in the land of Mentos, as yet another teen is
faced with a distressing problem. While crossing the street, he is
separated from his friends, and nearly from his legs by an over
anxious motorist. Finding himself needing to traverse the street,
but without a normal means to do so, he again thanks his lucky stars
he remembered the freshmaker. His supply is reduced by one, but his
freshness is increased exponentially. Opening the rear door, he
climbs through the auto, while the driver looks over his shoulder in
astonishment. Upon exiting, the youth shrugs at the motorist, Mentos
in hand. Although a bit shaken, the passenger acknowledges the care
free youths with an approving glance as he speeds away. Wait till
the wife hears of my brush with freshness!
7. The Backstage Crew or Those Crazy Kids II
In the final episode, once again the establishment has prevented
some teens from achieving their goal. At the backstage door to a
rock concert, our friends are star struck and must find a way
backstage to meet their idols, demonstrate their freshness, and
enjoy each others minty clean breath. Musical paraphernalia is being
unloaded, and with the aid of a bandanna, one teen slips through the
line undetected. At the last moment, a security guard spots him, but
instead of pouncing on him and beating him to a bloody mess with his
nightstick, he lets him go showing an expression that could only
mean one thing, Those crazy kids!. Bravo!
I have also included the Entire FAQ so you can print it out and post it on
your family refridgerator! I can see they joy in your eyes right now. But
that is ok, I dont need any thanks.
Uncle Fester as you know has been unfairly picked on in the last pack
and I, your ever so supportive founder is here to write a poem as a way to
show artisticly how the people involved in the text file editing contraversysp
are sorry.
G M A N S c 1 9 9 5
AHEM back up vocals ..
Were Sorry Uncle Fester so sorry ..
We realy didnt meen to pester poo poo sorry
The happy person that we know is you. *frumple* *dumple*
But dont get us wrong so wrong ..
Just listen to this song this song kix ass
And when were done you can boo. boo boo *boo* *hoo*
I guess Ill take the time the clock is ticking ..
To write this little rhyme my dick is itching
So you can feel happy. *frumple* *frumple*
We could have picked on Bane banes a weirdo
But hes mentaly Insane banes a homo
And that would have been crappy. timelord knows diarreah!
We could have messed with Twitch dark vengeances mom is a bitch
But he would yell and bitch just like dvs mother
Like a Doomsday Lawn Cow. ghod i hate that stupid bitch
We could have harassed Dreamweaver dreamweaver is a crossdresser
But he has a kitchen Cleaver that matches his outfits
So just sit and listen to us Now. before he cuts you up
I guess you just had it comming dont say cumming around eric
So dont be mad or bumming *frumple*
We realy think youre cool. *happy campers* are *frumple*
We couldnt quite resist we like to pick on dorkoes
Or just look around and sit ..sitting around picking on dorkos
We wanted to make someone look a fool. so we picked YOU you dorko!
We realy DO give a fuck dont you cry ..
You just had some bad luck just dry, your eye!
And you just happened to be the one the one dorko we picked on!
I guess thats all I can say not really, we just dont want
You be happy and have a nice day you to quit and stop drawing
Because were sorry, but it was fun. ansi for us, so we got to
span the insults out over
-Sub-ZeroX several months time.
Greets go out to: MPMAD - Get into the ansi spirit!
Sub-ZeroX
AFRICAN AMERICAN GMAN HERE!
y0! y0! YY0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000!
aciddraw really does suck .. i was going to work on something called coco-
nut cartoons, but reggie said hed rip me off and put his name on it so im
not going to do all the work for his pleasure. uhm.
aciddraw sux. acid sux. the people in acid suck.
join mad and redeem yourselves. i paid the 50 membership fee and now my
life is HAPPY! sure is. mail your membership fees along with your
application to:
gman needs a new 93 mustang charcoal gray 5.0
po box 4094
pasadena, tx 77502
uhm.. send money, or if its a check, make it blank. yeah.
uhm.. one last thing before i go, dont be insulted by the african american
thingy.. youd be lame for doing so. well, i guess ill zip the pack up,
im tired of putting hidden msgs about how much of a fag everyone is
inside their ansis. uhm.. i didnt, really i didnt.
hasta! .. gman of mad!
rusty stewart is still looking for a virus inside baytown lees library.
.. eof!
MaliciousArtDenomination
July 1995 Unofficial Newsletter
Author: Sub-ZeroX / MAD Flounder
Damnit, What can I say? I feel like drawing again for no special
reason. I desided to make this newsletter Unofficial since from the comments
that I have heard from the people that read it say that they dont get any
NEWS from it anyways, and they read it just for the Super Backflip Sub-ZeroX
greets. Well, If thats all youre looking for, then I just wated to warn
you that Ive made a few changes to what Im writing this month. This 07/95
pack was suppose to suck hardcore, but it has been salvaged quite a bit.
The disasters this month were: Georges Car Even with the addition of Techron
Gasoline has desided that life is not worth it at this point in time. Twitch
and Flashpoints Modem has also desided that Georges car had a good idea going
and decided to leave this plane of existance in a big *poof*. Doomsday had
a close brush with the Reaper. Satan desided that he was bored down there in
hell and decided to buy a modem. Much to the joy of Psylark. Also I must
WARN you, Psychopsylark has released in this pack, A BMP. DO NOT VIEW IT, as
It will summon evil spirits into your modem and computer causing you to install
Linux and rant endlessly about how much better Linux is and how everyone in the
world uses it. But, Such disasters can not keep this Minty Cool Fresh Group
down for too long.
This month we had some happy fluffy things happen too! Cube joined! So We
here at MAD give Cube a Super Elite Parakeet Greet. Not only that MAD Fans
but If you order now, you get a Lord Regulator Absolutely free! Lord Regulator
Dices, and Slices, but thats not all! With your introductory membership to
MAD we will also throw in a Amazing Discoveries Dosent Dent, Dosent scratch,
Dosent Burn in the Heat Greet! And the Most IMPORTANT news of all is that
Zippo, our once Psychic Apprentice has Graduated to become A Fully Fledged
Psychic Advisor!! Lets all give Zippo a happy cheerleader GO ROCKETS Smile.
We have been so long without the wise advice of Sabotage Our Head Psy. Advisor
that we at MAD fear that we have gone astray. Recently, during a dream I had
a Fluffy Purple Mushroom said to me Yoooo Havvvee Sinned. and I said back
to the Mushroom, What the fuck? and It just looked at me.. and sat there lik
eI was suppose to do something, So, I picked up the Mushroom, and I ate it..
Wouldnt you know it, IT TASTED LIKE GRAPES!!! That Means..... well.. I dont
know.. but Hopefully Sabotage will help us here at MAD decypher what that
dream means, and what changes MAD Must make in order to please the Pknunk.
As I said Eariler, Psylark drew something this month, and He told me that he
wanted me to announce that he loves Angels and God, And Fluffy Creatures.
He also pointed out that he wanted me to tell everyone that he thinks that
Happy Bunny Rabbits are the most perfect of Gods creatures. Last time I talke
dto Psylark he was listening to Christian Rap music and enjoying a refreshing
Zeltzer Seltzer Strawberry Flavor.
THIS IS SATAN, I HAVE POSSESED THE SOUL OF YOUR LEADER, SUB-ZEROX TO TELL YOU
AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE. I HAVE HERE, IN HELL, ELVIS.. IF YOU WANT HIM BACK
THE RANSOM IS YOUR SOUL.. IF YOU ARE INTERESTED MY NEW E-MAIL ADDRESS IS
BEZELBUB@HADES.ORG.. THANK YOU FOOLISH HUMANS... I WILL NOW RELINQUISH THE
SOUL OF YOUR PRECIOUS FOUNDER.. TILL NEXT TIME IGNORANT CHILDREN... *MUHAHAHAH*
... I forgot what I was going to say... Hmm. Oh well, I hate it when that
happens. Oh, Now I remember, I was talking about Happy Christian Rap music..
thats it... But for some reason, I dont feel to compelled to talk about that
right now. *sigh*
I Put something new this month. The Super Spontanious Sub-ZeroX Awards!
Deathrai is awarded with the most prestigious of all Sub-ZeroX awards
He is awarded the POTATO POWER AWARD... We here at MAD
1st are so proud that we give you a G-Man OK and a -Deathra
i Sub-ZeroX Thumps up with a tongue sticking out.
Bane gets the Sub-ZeroX HORNY BUNNY RABBIT AWARD for having
the mosts ansis this month.
HB-Bane Dreamweaver gets the Sub-ZeroX 59 Diner AWARD For havin
g the Niftiest 25 Line pic this month.
59-Dreamweave
r G-Man gets the Sub-ZeroX CROSS DRESSING
AWARD For Having the Prettiest Ansis this
month.
CD-Gman
Lord Regulator Gets the Sub-ZeroX DANCE TO DISC
O AWARD for having the most BIZARE ASCIIS IN
THE HISTORY OF THE Malicious Art Denomination!
Lord Regulator, we here at mad.. truely adore
BZ-Lord Regulator you.
To all of you who recieved an award this month, your most humble
flounder salutes you. One Art Group, Under The Clouds, for Liberty
and Ansi, for all.....
As of recent MAD events, one is lead to wonder, exactly what is
Bane thinking when he makes those Coconut asciis. Well, Sub-ZeroX your most
astute researcher of Coconut Temporal Psychology has his theory of what the
hell IS knocking around in that Head of Banes....
The Following was taken out of Banes recent Magnum ad...
/ Oo / .. / -- / oo / / / xx / ** ,, / oo / O / @@
0/ -/ -/ O/ -/ +/ o/ - o/ -/ @/
Look at that! Geezus christ!!! Well here goes..
/ Oo
0/ - W00P!
This one, is probably saying W00P! and is the standard Caribbian Coconut..
This one just farted, and is trying to act like nothing happened....
-/ - Zzzzzzz
This coconut is as you can plainly see... asleep. gman thinks that hes
/ stoned though ..
/ oo
O/ - HOLY SHIT!
This coconut has discovered a way to unscramble the Playboy Channeltm.
-/ - DIE.. DIE.. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAH
I AM SATAN YOU FOOL! LEAVE ME BE!
+/ - *BURP*
This one has had a little too much to drink.. Know when to say when...
o/ - Hey Baby.
This is a prostitute coconut..
- - Hello Comrades, Velcome to Rushka!
This is a Russian Coconut, See the hat, and the symbol?
/ oo
o/ - Wow!!!
This coconut just downloaded the latest madpack.
/ O
This coconut is playing pool. Shhhh!!
/ @@
@/ - ZerpBob Bomwazpofa!
This is an alien Coconut. WATCH OUT! THEY BITE!!!
Well, there you go! Sub-ZeroX uncovers the secrets of the universe once again.
Speaking of secrets of the universe..... Guess what I got here!? I have for
you, The drumroll Super Duper Pickup a Hooker if shes a Looker Sub-ZeroX
ELiTE Greets!! *WOOP!* *YEA!!!!* *CLAP CLAP CLAP* *WHOOF WHOOF WHOOF WHOOF*
Guess whos been bugging me for a realy cool greet this month? WHO MR. ZEROX?
Why FLASHPOINT Of course. So, Flashpoint, you get the First of the Sub-ZeroX
EliTE Greets this month. Flashpoint gets a Karate Kick,Back Flip,Break A Brick
with a wooden stick Greet. TA DOW... Bane gets a Coconut out of the rut,
cyberslut greet. Man, Mr. ZeroX, You rock... Gman gets a Opera Singing
Taco Slinging Tripple Half Ganer into a pool of Snapple greet. Cube gets a
abc irc xyz,look at me greet. Uh.. hold on, I feel kinda.. I AM SATAN.. AND
I WILL GET A GREET NOW. SATAN YOU ARE COOL, I GIVE YOU A,TACO BELL,BURN IN HELL
WHATS THAT SMELL? GREET. MUHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH... I feel better now.. that
was a strange feeling.. Like.. I was posessed or something.. oh well.. Anyway
sTwitch gets a funky itch backflip snitch whatsup bitch? greet. Deathrai gets
a tripple summersault off of the kitchen sink into the bathroom with a forward
quadruple-sow-cow greet. Dreamweaver gets a Super Dooper Sub-ZeroX Aproved
Woop Group Greet. Doomsday gets a plain normal no nothing special like a
backflip or summersault greet. Reptile-X also gets a plain, black and white
nothing special or anything like that greet because I gave them both neato
greets last time woop. *THE END*
o
/ This month includes a special Zip for Gman. This Zip
/ Includes special misc. files and thing that have no
/ point what so ever.. The File name is GMAN.ZIP. Please
disregard that zip and any contents found inside.
. Thank you,
/ Sub-ZeroX
*KUPO!*
Thanks to the Power of the WWW on the Internet, Sub-ZeroX has captured for
your evaluations from the Mentos Home page, the Commercial Synopsis from all
the Memtos commercials ever created!!! I know how excited you are, so Ill
quit talking and let you feast your eyes on this superb MENTOS info!
1. The Broken Shoe or High Heel Treachery
A sassy young lady sashays past an open air French style cafe,
gaining the attention of a business man, and at the same time
interrupting his newspaper enjoyment. As she glides past, a footwear
malfunction occurs, leaving her sans one heel. She reaches for her
secret freshness inducer, Mentos. After administering a piece of the
magic elixir of nuttiness, she breaks off the remaining spike,
proclaiming to the world her resourcefulness, and endless freshness.
The man in the cafe is undoubtedly impressed.
2. The Fake Photographer or Those Crazy Kids I
A young lad and his pals file through a mob of fanatics and
paparazzi, in order to get a closer look at their favorite star.
However, their adventure takes them over the legal boundaries of
said activity, which is then pointed out to them by the authorities.
After a bit of contemplation, and a hearty dose of freshness ala
Mentos, our hero cunningly disguises himself as a member of the
media, and breaks through the defenses of the establishment.
3. The Airport Tram Ride or Baggage Claim Blues
A young woman finds herself in a bit of a pinch, as she discovers
that she has packed too much, and her bags are a most bothersome
burden. But she has no fear, it is a burden which is not
insurmountable, especially with Mentos on her side. She unsheathes
her glimmering blue tube of freshness, and holds it out stretched,
like the mighty Excalibur, and although shortening it by 1/14, this
weapon has not lost its power. She consumes the pellet of perkiness,
and decrees that she and only she shall be the one to ride the
baggage cart, and all the other most unfresh patrons of the airport
shall bear the full weight of their baggage. Her friends cheer, and
dream of one day achieving a freshness such as hers.
4. The Car Movers or Overalls and Mentos
Only an unfresh person would park his car in such a way as to make
his fellow motorist unable to go about her merry way, but thats
just what our heroine is faced with in this episode of the Mentos
saga. After an exchange of dirty looks, and communication of the
parkees need for promptness, the young girl contemplates her
dilemma with the aid of a freshmaker. She has a revelation, and
summons what looks to be the Pittsburgh Steelers offensive line from
a construction site across the way. With surprisingly little
convincing, the barbarians lift her Fiat into the road, and as she
thanks them she glances in the way of her nemesis, only to add an
exclamation point to her freshness.
5. Evading Mom or Psycho Mutant Killer Mom
While enjoying a pleasant afternoon at the mall, a teen and his
companions suddenly spot one of their mothers. She raises her
umbrella, signifying that she has acquired her target, and means to
move in for the kill. Quickly searching his person, the teen removes
from his pocket the only thing to help him out of this bind, Mentos.
Thinking quickly, and now sporting fresh, clean breath, he seizes a
baseball cap from a nearby mannequin. The perfect disguise! Placing
it on his head in a diagonal pattern, he strikes a pose and avoids
his pursuer. She spots him again, but this time only after entering
the escalator. Knowing she has been vanquished, mom shakes her
weapon yet again, all the while thinking, My son is sooo fresh!
6. Through the Car or The 3 Second Car Jacking
There is little peace in the land of Mentos, as yet another teen is
faced with a distressing problem. While crossing the street, he is
separated from his friends, and nearly from his legs by an over
anxious motorist. Finding himself needing to traverse the street,
but without a normal means to do so, he again thanks his lucky stars
he remembered the freshmaker. His supply is reduced by one, but his
freshness is increased exponentially. Opening the rear door, he
climbs through the auto, while the driver looks over his shoulder in
astonishment. Upon exiting, the youth shrugs at the motorist, Mentos
in hand. Although a bit shaken, the passenger acknowledges the care
free youths with an approving glance as he speeds away. Wait till
the wife hears of my brush with freshness!
7. The Backstage Crew or Those Crazy Kids II
In the final episode, once again the establishment has prevented
some teens from achieving their goal. At the backstage door to a
rock concert, our friends are star struck and must find a way
backstage to meet their idols, demonstrate their freshness, and
enjoy each others minty clean breath. Musical paraphernalia is being
unloaded, and with the aid of a bandanna, one teen slips through the
line undetected. At the last moment, a security guard spots him, but
instead of pouncing on him and beating him to a bloody mess with his
nightstick, he lets him go showing an expression that could only
mean one thing, Those crazy kids!. Bravo!
I have also included the Entire FAQ so you can print it out and post it on
your family refridgerator! I can see they joy in your eyes right now. But
that is ok, I dont need any thanks.
Uncle Fester as you know has been unfairly picked on in the last pack
and I, your ever so supportive founder is here to write a poem as a way to
show artisticly how the people involved in the text file editing contraversysp
are sorry.
G M A N S c 1 9 9 5
AHEM back up vocals ..
Were Sorry Uncle Fester so sorry ..
We realy didnt meen to pester poo poo sorry
The happy person that we know is you. *frumple* *dumple*
But dont get us wrong so wrong ..
Just listen to this song this song kix ass
And when were done you can boo. boo boo *boo* *hoo*
I guess Ill take the time the clock is ticking ..
To write this little rhyme my dick is itching
So you can feel happy. *frumple* *frumple*
We could have picked on Bane banes a weirdo
But hes mentaly Insane banes a homo
And that would have been crappy. timelord knows diarreah!
We could have messed with Twitch dark vengeances mom is a bitch
But he would yell and bitch just like dvs mother
Like a Doomsday Lawn Cow. ghod i hate that stupid bitch
We could have harassed Dreamweaver dreamweaver is a crossdresser
But he has a kitchen Cleaver that matches his outfits
So just sit and listen to us Now. before he cuts you up
I guess you just had it comming dont say cumming around eric
So dont be mad or bumming *frumple*
We realy think youre cool. *happy campers* are *frumple*
We couldnt quite resist we like to pick on dorkoes
Or just look around and sit ..sitting around picking on dorkos
We wanted to make someone look a fool. so we picked YOU you dorko!
We realy DO give a fuck dont you cry ..
You just had some bad luck just dry, your eye!
And you just happened to be the one the one dorko we picked on!
I guess thats all I can say not really, we just dont want
You be happy and have a nice day you to quit and stop drawing
Because were sorry, but it was fun. ansi for us, so we got to
span the insults out over
-Sub-ZeroX several months time.
Greets go out to: MPMAD - Get into the ansi spirit!
Sub-ZeroX
AFRICAN AMERICAN GMAN HERE!
y0! y0! YY0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000!
aciddraw really does suck .. i was going to work on something called coco-
nut cartoons, but reggie said hed rip me off and put his name on it so im
not going to do all the work for his pleasure. uhm.
aciddraw sux. acid sux. the people in acid suck.
join mad and redeem yourselves. i paid the 50 membership fee and now my
life is HAPPY! sure is. mail your membership fees along with your
application to:
gman needs a new 93 mustang charcoal gray 5.0
po box 4094
pasadena, tx 77502
uhm.. send money, or if its a check, make it blank. yeah.
uhm.. one last thing before i go, dont be insulted by the african american
thingy.. youd be lame for doing so. well, i guess ill zip the pack up,
im tired of putting hidden msgs about how much of a fag everyone is
inside their ansis. uhm.. i didnt, really i didnt.
hasta! .. gman of mad!
rusty stewart is still looking for a virus inside baytown lees library.
.. eof!
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