lazarus (pack #3) news & info by lazarus
lazarus (pack #3) news & info by lazarus
l a z a r u s
- stuff and all -
grind king here, hi. another happy month for us lazarus kids, despite it being really slooowww. almost all of us were productive, except for wyvern, who just simply vanished. come in, wyvern.
mad props to everyone for being cool this month.
there were no changes to the memberlist, either. speaking of which, go and
check it out - more portraits were added!! if you are in lazarus, and you are
reading this, and you havent done a protrait - go do one now!!@!@
delegates from lazarus met in the sarnia to discuss important group-type
things. hennifer, warpus, hachi and myself were present. our friends nitris,
make, shadow hunter, erratic, unpossible and brandis were there too. iceage
our american counterpart tried to attend but was held by canadian customs under the suspition of international espionage. bowling ensued.
interesting developments have been developing in the group, lately. aside
for our upcoming top-secret coded project, expect the launch of our net-savvy
web page from neophyte in the next month or so. were wired!@@ hennifers
note: SHUT UP!!
- everything you never really wanted to know about lazarus -
* the group was formed under the influence of scary driving, smokey atmos-
phere and SNFU!
* we were almost called FANSi. feeling like a bad hangover the following
day, the name was quickly changed.
* the hennifer, grind king, warpus and hachi first met and fell in love at
an overnight stay, where they all read about their lipstick personalities.
* mexican lazbians 1
* lazarus members support the anti-phear movement, and fully endorse the
word beware as a happy alternative.
* while iceage is a stud, he was never unsane.
* aside from ansi, most of our members engage themselves in various other
scenes. most noteable are the the popular london style pole-avoiding, tree-
climbing and female-impersonating scenes. there have also been numerous
reports of lazarus members skanking any dance floor in sight. more news on
that later.
- the mud squad - issue 1, by neophyte -
Why mud? Because we fall in it a lot!
So anyways, we were out on the first Mud Squad journey. The Mud Squad
being our little task force set out to find rippers of ansi, ascii, and any
other form of art.
Yeah, we were the ones who took down the likes of Acid Jazz, Crime Boss,
and many many more. Most of our victims were in the PD and warez scene and it
was not necessary to make it a public issue.
It was Hennifer, Grindking, Iceage and myself. We all hopped into
Hennifers car uhh Henny do you have a car? and set off. With laser beams
in hand, we chased many an art ripper down that night.
There was this guy named Hot Stuff and he had ripped over 30 ansis for
his board Hot Stuffs Board. Yeah, we attacked him with our super-plasma lazer-o-matic 3000s and sucked him into our electronic trapping device
there was this guy named Egon, and one day i beat him up and took his traps - no idea who he was though. Suddenly, this big green ghost made out of slime
slime jumped out of the trap and started to slime us!
IVE BEEN SLIMED!!! screamed Hennifer in agony. Now what will my girl-
friend think?!!?
Every single one of us opened fire on the evil green glob, but it just
wouldnt die. Suddenly I spotted hair on the head of this evil goober!
Look! Its wearing a mask!
We all ran at the ghost and RIPPED its mask off. It was none other than
RadMan, of Acid Productions!!
Let me explain.. uhh.. give me a minute to think of something to get me
out of this.. uhh.. blabbered Radman. Uhh.. want free ansi? I got lots of
free ansi!
Oh yeah? Then how come there were only three pics in Acid-52?
Uhh.. you probably werent looking hard enough..
Throw him in the VAULT!
We took him back to headquarters and threw him in the vault, an electron-
ic jailing mechanism used for art rippers not that RadMan ripped any ansi, we just dont like him
So we got in the car and our female secretary Warpus passed us our lunches.
Thanks Warpus!, we all yelled in unison.
We drove down Main St. and suddenly there was this Unsane logo spray-
painted on a wall.. except the sig didnt say UNS it said VQH.
VQH? Who the hell is that?
Quick! To the ansi-mobile!
We hurried back into Hennys car and took off after the menace who caused
this heinous crime. Ten minutes later, we found a big fat 17 year old kid
with glasses and a baseball cap surprise, surprise spray painting an old
Napalm pic on the side of a bus. We hid in the bushes and stayed there until
we saw him sign the pic VQH. As soon as he did this, we leapt out of the
bushes, and opened fire. He ran around the corner, and by the time we could
look around it, he was gone.
SHIT! We almost had him. He is going to PAY!
We ran down the alley that was around the corner in pursuit of the villain.
He was far ahead of us, and we knew we most likely were not going to catch him
but we tried anyways. He ran into a bar called Corosive.
We just about didnt notice the name of the bar, but when we did it baffled
Is.. it.. could it be.. the.. famous Corosive?
Oh my god.. lets get Penn!
So we walked into Corosive and looked around. Some guy who had cheese on
his head walked up to the bar and said, Hey Penn, gimme another scotch,
man.. Penn passed the man a Scotch and the man walked away.
Hey.. are you Penn?
Yeah. You eyein me boy?
Whoah.. Im Neophyte.. remember me? You drew me those 300,000 ansis for
Oh yeah! Sup man? So who are your friends?
Thats Hennifer, Grind King, and Iceage.
NO WAY?!!? Cool! So what can i do for you?
We just chased a fat 17 year old kid in here for ripping an ansi, any idea
who he is? He JUST ran in here..
He went out the back.. We started to leave - HEY! Neo! You owe me a
LOT of ansi, man!
I d and we ran through the back door. We asked some bum if he saw the
guy, but he said hed only tell us if we drew him an ansi. Henny swiftly
forward and showed him his skills. In a matter of 5 minutes, he was done the
most elite logo that the bum had ever seen. Suddenly he ripped his crappy
hooded sweatshirt off, and stood up.
Thats right! Lets go get that ansi ripper!
Wait for me?
Whos that???
Are you guys the Lazarus guys?
Hey, im cheeze, can i help you guys?
Uhh sure. But you gotta take that cheese off your head. It smells real
- To be continued.. -
- bye -
that about does it for now. dont forget to look at the pack. i think
hennifer will relieve me of my inability to write, and entertain you next
- grind king
lazarus co-tyrant