KERMIT THE FROG TEXT PROGRAM IN BASIC -handiboy/mistigris
1 REM This is a little program about Kermit the Frog Vomiting in the Mens
2 REM Washroom. As you can tell already, this program will be in basic.
3 REM This thing kind of sucks.
5 PRINT SESAME STREET MESS - KERMIT THE FROG IN THE MENS WASHROOM
10 INPUT ARE YOU A MALE OR A FEMALE? M/F :G
20 IF GM THEN PRINT GREAT! YOU ARE IN A BAR..GOTO 40
30 IF GF THEN PRINT SORRY, WE CANNOT PERMIT YOU TO PLAY THIS GAME. KERMIT
THE FROG IS NOT A GIRL. PLEASE LOOK FOR SESAME STREET MESS II: MISS PIGGY
IN THE WOMENS WASHROOM.
35 PRINT GAME OVER! PLEASE PLAY AGAIN IF YOU GET A SEX CHANGE.END
40 INPUT AND YOU ARE AT THE POINT WHERE YOU HAVE FINISHED DRINKING. HOW MANY
LITRES OF BOOZE HAVE YOU CONSUMED?B
45 IF B5 THEN PRINT SORRY, YOU HAVE NOT CONSUMED THE REQUIRED AMOUNT OF BOOZE
TO GET TO THE WASHROOM. OUT OF MONEY, YOU GO BACK TO SESAME STREET. WHEN THE
CHILDREN FIND OUT THAT YOUVE BEEN DRINKING, THEY KICK YOU REPEATEDLY,
CAUSING MASSIVE INTERNAL BLEEDING IN YOUR LIVER AND KIDNEYS. YOU HAVE DIED.
GOTO 100
50 IF B5 THEN PRINT YOU HAVE EXCEEDED THE REQUIRED AMOUNT OF BOOZE. ALTHOUGH
YOU GET TO A WASHROOM, YOU ARE NOT AWARE THAT YOU HAVE ENTERED THE WOMENS
WASHROOM. MOMENTS LATER YOU ARE WHACKED REPEATEDLY BY PURSES, WHICH CAUSE
EXTENSIVE DAMAGE TO YOUR BRAIN. YOU HAVE DIED.GOTO 100
60 IF B5 THEN PRINT YOU HAVE CONSUMED THE REQUIRED AMOUNT OF BOOZE TO GET TO
THE MENS WASHROOM.
70 PRINT ALTHOUGH FROM YOUR BLURRED VISION YOU CAN MAKE OUT THE URINARIES
INDICATING THAT YOU HAVE ENTERED THE MENS WASHROOM, IT SEEMS THAT MANY OF
THE TOILETS AND URINARIES ARE OCCUPIED. THERE ARE 15 PLACES WHERE YOU CAN
VOMIT. WHERE WILL YOU PUKE? 1-15 :INPUT P
80 IF P1 THEN GOTO 95
81 IF P2 THEN GOTO 95
82 IF P3 THEN GOTO 95
83 IF P4 THEN GOTO 95
84 IF P5 THEN GOTO 96
85 IF P6 THEN GOTO 96
86 IF P7 THEN GOTO 96
87 IF P8 THEN GOTO 96
88 IF P9 THEN GOTO 96
89 IF P10 THEN GOTO 97
90 IF P11 THEN GOTO 98
91 IF P12 THEN GOTO 98
92 IF P13 THEN GOTO 98
93 IF P14 THEN GOTO 98
94 IF P15 THEN GOTO 98
95 PRINT YOU RUSH UP TO AN URINARY AND YOU VOMIT. WHEN YOUR VISION CLEARS
MOMENTS LATER, YOU SEE SOME BIG GUYS BUTT, WITH FROG PUKE SPLATTERED ON IT.
THE BUTT TURNS AROUND. YOU LOOK UP, AND YOU SEE A FURIOUS MOTORCYCLE DO0DER.
THE MOTORBIKE GUY STEPS ON YOU. YOU HAVE DIED.GOTO 100
96 PRINT YOU FIND A CONTAINER THAT YOU CAN REGURGITATE INTO. MOMENTS LATER
YOU FIND YOURSELF LOOKING INTO A MOTORCYCLE HELMET. YOU LOOK UP, AND YOU SEE
A FURIOUS MOTORCYCLE DO0DER. THE MOTORBIKE GUY STEPS ON YOU. YOU HAVE DIED.
GOTO 100
97 PRINT YOU FIND A TOILET TO PUKE INTO, AND A MINUTE LATER YOU FIND YOURSELF
RELIEVED AND SOBER. YOU HAPPILY WALK YOUR WAY BACK TO SESAME STREET, HOPING
THAT THE KIDS DONT FIND OUT THAT YOU DRINK BOOZE.GOTO 110
98 PRINT YOU FIND A TOILET TO PUKE INTO. AS YOU VOMIT, YOU ALSO SMELL A STRONG,
PUNGENT ODOR, ALMOST LIKE EXCREMENT. YOU LOOK DOWN AND FIND THAT YOU DIDNT
POOP. HOWEVER, YOU LOOK UP AND YOU SEE A FURIOUS MOTORCYCLE DO0DER SITTING
ON THE TOILET THAT YOU VOMITED INTO. YOU SEE THAT SOME OF YOUR VOMIT HAS
SPLATTERED ON THE SIDE OF THE MOTORCYCLE GUYS NAKED RIGHT LEG. THE
MOTORBIKE GUY STEPS ON YOU. YOU HAVE DIED.GOTO 100
100 PRINT GAME OVER. PLEASE PLAY AGAIN IF YOURE TOO STUPID TO REALIZE THAT
THIS GAME SUCKS.
105 GOTO 120
110 PRINT YOU HAVE SUCCESSFULLY FINISHED THE GAME! GOOD JOB!GOTO 120
120 PRINT WOULD YOU LIKE TO PLAY AGAIN? Y/N :INPUT F
130 IF FY THEN GOTO 5
140 IF FN THEN PRINT PLEASE REGISTER THIS GAME, YOU BASTARD.GOTO 150
150 END
And there you go, a cheezy kermit text game. i tried making an ansi but
kermit looked like a fag.
As you can, my basic coding skills are pretty rusty. but itll do.
-handiboy