journey into the mind of a no-brained counterculturist
by - taraxis
im bored and im not feeling cooltm. all my friends are cooltm
except me. waaaah! john is a r0xin anarkist he dumps chemicals into the
toilets in school and stuff and petes got twenty nine earrings and dyes
his hair indian corn yellow, but im nothing. sure, i have my ripped jeans
and pearl jam shirt 9 out of 10 guns prefer kids to crayons or something
like that who cares im still cooltm, but im lacking something. i dont
have an identity. i need a fucking identity!@! i need to rebeltm
then i will rock! so i get my pen out and make a list of stuff to do so
that all the girlies will love me:
1 - fuck sex.
2 - fuck religion.
3 - fuck school.
4 - fuck mom and dad.
5 - fuck the government.
oh boy now im excited! this is going great! i mean, this is the
shit! see? im on my way to identity nirvana already. oops nirvana sucks,
im sorry. ive always thought they sucked, even though i bought all their
cds, which i throw away now. i start now to consider my list more
carefully...
1 fuck sex
dammit those fuckin hippies beat me to it. argh!@! but maybe
ill tell everyone im bisexual and love tori amos... this has potential. i
circle this on my list.
2 fuck religion
shit i cant do that, all my friends are either atheists or wiccans,
so thats not original. and forget believing in god, thats just not
cooltm.
money hungry asses on tv say they believe in god. im not a money
hungry asshole. therefore, i dont say i believe in god.
makes perfect sense to me.
3 fuck school
fuckin-a! no one likes school. school is not cooltm. jeff
tells me school is just a place where ultra-rightists make us feel bad and
rape our minds, and jeff knows whats going on - just look at his black
painted fingernails! anyway, thats not new. i continue my search for the
cause of the worlds failure...
4 fuck mom and dad
confound it everyone cooltm hates their parents. even though im
alone in the world i cant say that because ill be called a poser. fuck.
5 fuck the government
yes! the government is the cause of all my problems! yippie!
tommorow ill go get a the american government blows goats shirt and show
it off to everyone! i rock!@! oh fucking fuck fuck-headed piece of fuck
shitties! dave already hates the government. damn. double damn. and for
a moment, i was cooltm. i was a person man!@
i sit in despair and wonder what i can do. should i be silent and
wait for people to ask me about my really deep thoughts? or maybe i can go
hmmmm... every five or ten minutes. it just isnt fair. ill never be
cooltm. some stupid song is playing on the radio maybe ill kill
myself! yes! then people will always wonder what soulful things i was
thinking, boy theyll be sorry then, huh? what a dumb song. ive run out
of options. i lay my head down on the table and start to cry.
you let me violate you...
wha? whats this?
you let me penetrate you...
suddenly it hits me like a bolt of lightning! this song... this song
is the key to cooltmness and popularity! yes! ill be the first one in
town with the shirt! um wait who the hell is this band anyway? theyve
probably got a kicking name like, nuclear spaghetti biscuits or toad
lick buttplugs!!! maybe ill be thrown out of school for wearing their
shirt! that would be so cooltm!
i wanna fuck you like an animal!
i nearly collapse on the floor in orgasmic delight!!@ this is what
ive always been waiting for! i want it so bad! so bad! im so cooltm
now!!! yes!!@
i wanna feel you from the inside!
this is too much to bear! i shut off the radio and run to the
nearest tune town to buy the i wanna fuck you like an animal song and some
t-shirts. the guy working told me the name of the band but i was so
engrossed in thoughts of how cooltm id be tomorrow that wasnt really
paying attention to him.
tomorrow in school when pete and dave ask me about my cooltm new
shirt ill tell them about the ultra-cooltm new song ive heard. of
course, its only new to them because ive liked nine witch tails for years.
--index-------------------------------------------------------------------
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title author
01 the other white meat creed
02 several k-leet hax0rs sittin around a campfire and groovin creed
03 nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars. creed
04 a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin creed
05 household uses for afghanistanian food creed
06 pour cement down my anus hooch
07 hail santa! creed
08 hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties? hooch
09 lunchables rock. creed
10 t-shirts and toejam bedlam
11 nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview hooch
12 movie reviews showgirls!@ - win95 vs. os/2 sorta hooch
13 straight outta compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@ hooch
14 im a tall, goofy, dorky, chink phorce
15 bedazzled by the eliteness creed
16 how to blow your nuts out with cornstarch and orangina creed
17 i am a warez pup - who are you? hooch
18 lemmings phorce
19 the science of astrology belial
20 the notorious anticlimactic bastards of the zine scene cd/h0
21 dUcK 54uc3?!!? phorce
22 top 5000 reasons why i should kill myself creed
23 citrus fruits for sale phorce
24 group masturbation belial
25 ethereal experiences for perverted pyromaniacs creed
26 catering for the warez eleet phorce
27 brief mental pause belial
28 the army day camp belial
29 the geek theory, hickies, and another long day creed
30 nets, zines, and that chick from wings hooch
31 mentos! the freedom giver! mercuri
32 ramblings of a poseur bedlam
33 sitcoms, stereotypes, and satan creed
34 fuck you - a note to all yall on zines hooch
35 apples, oranges, and pears phorce
36 the little cultist that couldnt creed
37 careening through hyperspace at a slug-like rate creed
38 snowday phorce
39 creed is g0d creed
40 big hurt is ruler of the earth bighurt
41 dead people, nasty thoughts, and colored glue bighurt
42 bbs softwares/internet hooch
43 abandon thy gods! from yonder C:TERM3DOWNLOAD71
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