y0lk 66: how y0lk saved my life sorta
i was just flying into los angeles for a meeting with the press
concerning y0lk of course, they had flown me first class. the movie was get
shorty with john travolta. i give it two thumbs up... but i digress after a
four hour flight, i was really tired. luckily, they had set excellent travel
plans for me. when i disembarked from the plane, i was greeted by a man in an
expensive-looking suit, holding a sign with my name on it: creed.
i immediately gave the suited man one of my great thousand-dollar
smiles, and approached him. hi, i said.
hello, mister creed.
uh, you can call me dave. so where are we going today? which
five-star hotel do you have me booked at this time?
youll see, he said, somewhat mysteriously. i felt like i was in a
really strange james bond movie scene. with that, he turned his back and
began walking toward the terminal exit. still a bit confused and bedazzled, i
paused for a moment, and then hurriedly started to follow him.
within a few minutes, we were inside the private limos-only parking
garage. nice place, i joked. the driver was silent and without emotion.
after an uncomfortable walk across the garage, we arrived at the car. the man
opened the door, i entered, and he slammed it quickly and got in on his side.
i heard the doors lock immediately. what a weirdo, i mumbled to myself.
after about five minutes of complete silence in the car, i decided it
would be a long drive and i needed to entertain myself. i opened my bag and
pulled out my walkman and gameboy. i popped motocross maniacs into the gameboy
and my concept dumb demos into the walkman, and kicked back. fun, fun, fun.
after about forty games of tennis, all of which i won, i noticed we
were approaching what seemed to be my destination. it seemed like more of a
run-down toolshed than a five star hotel. ill live. the limo driver
pressed a button on his dashboard and a garage door opened in a building to the
side. we drove in. it was a completely empty garage, with nine or ten men
standing inside. most were in black-tie like my escort, but one was a more fat
man in a casual-looking grey suit. oh, i thought, that must be the don.
the driver opened the door and yanked me out of the limo. i was
completely shocked at this point i just stood there drooling on myself. so,
the fat man smiled, we meet at last, mister creed. you look taller in
uhm. ok. you can call me dave. the james bond movie continued.
yes, i see. allow me to introduce myself.
excuse me? demonseed? im not familiar...
uh... nothing. sorry. oops, that was embarassing.
i see. well, my name is marco gionovicci. you zine-types may know me
as trip.
TRIP?! i didnt know you were italian!
yes, many people fail to recognize that. but lets get down to
business, mister creed. you used me as a character in a recent play that you
released in y0lk.
yeah, uh, i thought you would like that. hehe, you were always joking
about me in your stories and i--
you had me blow up a 7-11 in that little story of yours, he barked,
you depicted me as a terrorist. do you see me as a terrorist, mister creed?
well, uh, no, i babbled. its just that--
uhh, im real sorry... i didnt mean anything by it.
yes, well hopefully you will learn your lesson. well let you off a
little easy this time, mister creed but you have been warned.
before i could reply, a man came up from behind me and hit me with
something. i blacked out. when i woke up, i was half-naked, lying in a pretty
scary-looking neighborhood. as soon as i stood up, a circle of large black men
formed around me. uh-oh. i paused. uhm, who are you guys?
yo, wez tha crips. who tha hell are you, white man? you on our
uh, im dave... er, creed... err... hi.
the man just stood there for a few seconds i think i startled him.
creed? you mean you that niggah that writes y0lk?
uhh.... yeah, i guess. have you heard of it?
yo man, dats phat! wez big fans!!@ so, wuzzup, man?!
well, as you can easily see, an enlightening conversation followed.
after we had bonded and i had issued each of them an autographed 8 by 10
glossy photograph of mine, they fed and clothed me, and sent me on my way to
the airport. i told them where i was going, and they handed me a first-class
hey, how did you get this?
we carded it, nig.
uhm, where did you guys learn all that stuff?
hack, yo. moft taught us.
saying nothing, i grabbed the ticket and flew home. it had been a long
day. when i arrived back at newark airport, i hailed a cab and drove home the
real way. man, it was a weird day. and all i have to show for it is my
gameboy-tennis high score and these weird clothes from da crips. oh well.
title author
01 the other white meat creed
02 several k-leet hax0rs sittin around a campfire and groovin creed
03 nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars. creed
04 a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin creed
05 household uses for afghanistanian food creed
06 pour cement down my anus hooch
07 hail santa! creed
08 hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties? hooch
09 lunchables rock. creed
10 t-shirts and toejam bedlam
11 nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview hooch
12 movie reviews showgirls!@ - win95 vs. os/2 sorta hooch
13 straight outta compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@ hooch
14 im a tall, goofy, dorky, chink phorce
15 bedazzled by the eliteness creed
16 how to blow your nuts out with cornstarch and orangina creed
17 i am a warez pup - who are you? hooch
18 lemmings phorce
19 the science of astrology belial
20 the notorious anticlimactic bastards of the zine scene cd/h0
21 dUcK 54uc3?!!? phorce
22 top 5000 reasons why i should kill myself creed
23 citrus fruits for sale phorce
24 group masturbation belial
25 ethereal experiences for perverted pyromaniacs creed
26 catering for the warez eleet phorce
27 brief mental pause belial
28 the army day camp belial
29 the geek theory, hickies, and another long day creed
30 nets, zines, and that chick from wings hooch
31 mentos! the freedom giver! mercuri
32 ramblings of a poseur bedlam
33 sitcoms, stereotypes, and satan creed
34 fuck you - a note to all yall on zines hooch
35 apples, oranges, and pears phorce
36 the little cultist that couldnt creed
37 careening through hyperspace at a slug-like rate creed
38 snowday phorce
39 creed is g0d creed
40 big hurt is ruler of the earth bighurt
41 dead people, nasty thoughts, and colored glue bighurt
42 bbs softwares/internet hooch
43 abandon thy gods! from yonder cometh y0lk! creed
44 mogels own very special personalized 1 y0lk issue phorce
45 your burro is no jackass! creed
46 rollerskates, indians, eagles and cougars creed
47 outer space, ice cream, streetcars and gophers creed
48 Evan the genius becomes enlightened and melts his face off creed
49 6 insignificant ziners in a bowling microcosm of life creed
50 the best of the worst creed
51 the prince of darkness versus some guy named dave trip
52 ode to my feet creed
53 hopelessly lost poots
54 the schoolhouse r0x! phorce
55 campbells chicken-noodle soup omen of death creed
56 dead cats juke
57 my inner taco handle
58 my place, or yours? mercuri
59 how to really use that spiffy monopoly money lumpy
60 struggle wif the giant pink elephant lucifer
61 why did the chicken cross the road? insane
62 y0lk test pattern mutter
63 ELiTE LiT from the master himself creed
64 creeds k-rad lit archives, volume two creed
66 how y0lk saved my life sorta creed
if you see your name on that chart, you are a y0lk member, whether you
like it or not. if you are a y0lk member, you have a y0lk member board, et
phoenix 201 is the official eleet telecom section of y0lk
hooch is the stupendous chief shephard of y0lk.
phorce is the head samurai of y0lk! beware!
mindcrime is an official y0lk member, cuz hes just so damn wacky-ass.
creed is god. get used to it.
email creed@nexxus.novasys.com to contact me. yep.
to get all the rest of the y0lks, ftp to ftp.openix.com /ftp/phorce/y0lk
or... call our world headquarters, erebus, at 201-762-1373. k-rad.
OR... leave a message on my vmb: 1-800-925-9999,,,476
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