z
hello. my name is warpus and im here to talk to you
about something very precious to me. i dont want to
sound like i have it all figured out, but since i do
just read on.
lesbians love you. *you*. they know every feeling
you have and they know how to make each one so much
more pleasurable. all lesbians want from you is to
be loved back. thats all.
there is more to this life than just peanutbutter
sandwiches and edible underwear. there is so much
more! theres joy and adventure thats better than
anything you can get out of this world! there is
roofbowling. there is spam. there is so much of it
out there. all you have to do is open up your heart
and let the lesbians in. as messy as that would be
remember, lesbians love you.
you know whats ironic? these are the same lesbians
built the moon using liver. these are the same lesbia
ns that saved canada from the invading germans. these
are the same lesbians that cause the bacon to sizzle
on the frying pan rotating around the eggs so perfect
ly so that the whole system works in harmony with
eachother.
and these lesbians care about me? i used to think.
but its true. they love you and they watch over you
each and every day from their space stations.
but let me tell you something else. these lesbians
love us so much that they made a sacrifice beyond our
imagination for us. the lesbian queen is still a
virgin. thats how much they love us to give up
something like sex.
her name was blanket and this bitch lived a perfect
life. when i say perfect i mean perfect. she never
hed sex with anyone but herself and she knew how to
make really good dip. thats awesome. i mean, thats
really *awesome*.
ive lived the past year of my life as a lesbian
prophet, and im not saying that everything is going
to go perfectly for you, because it wont. thats not
how the lesbians planned life here to be. they meant
to make the planet as fucked up as they could and as
you can see they did a pretty good job of that. but
i can promise you one thing, and thats this: when
this life is over i will still be alive. the lesbians
stuck something up my ass and it apparantly lenghtens
my lifespan by about 200 years.
if you know somebody whos already a lesbian prophet
which in this case would be me talk to me about
about things. you wont regret it, because you wont
know what the fuck im talking about.
warpus.yak