OH MY GOD!
By The artist formerly known as Shihear Kallizad.
Here it is, 2:34am, Monday, June the 6th, almost two months to the day
that the whole TRiBE shakeup started. I just DLd the NATPAQ and went thru
it. I am flabbergasted, stunned, shocked and amazed. The art? Oh no, I
was actually disapointed there. There were alot of people not in NAT that I
thought were, and I expected more, even from those actually in NAT. What
has me so astounded? Well, reach down and grab hold of your socks, cuz
youll be blown away too. What an ASS I was., are the words just
outta my own mouth.
Ive inserted this pause in the body of this text, after the fact,
in order to allow those of you actually readding it to have the time to
stop laughing, or making those little grunting sounds that can be heard
to say, WAS?! As you read on, hopefully, youll come to understand the
usage of the word was in the context to the full body of this document.
In fact there is no contention that I wasnt at some point in time prior
or that I am actually now an ass. To prove that, Ill now point out that
NAT is a very APT abreviation for Maestro Steves RyTHM NaTiON.
Hindsight being 20/20, I can only now assume that this is how *I*
looked and sounded back, oddly enough, a year ago when I left iCE to start
up TRiBE. If that is the case, and mind you, Im not contesting it, then
I most definately was not only an ASS, I owe many people a huge apollogy
for the whole damned thing. When youre smack dab in the deep, dark
forest, you cant always see all the trees, if you know what I mean. Thats
no excuse mind you, frankly at this point in time, I cant imagine there
being any. All Im saying is that I honestly didnt SEE it until just now,
and I have Maestro Steve and his little Mistif Sinister Imajica refrence
noted for the great unread masses. by association to thank for this
revolation.
I could go back, dredge up a bunch of stuff, dig out a tun of text,
and compare this to that, and the otherthing to either. I wont, because
as of right now, my eyes are on the prise and Ive only got tunnel vision,
and to be honest, its not needed. Anyone whos anyone whos been around
anywhile can see it, and this is mainly addressed to them, for it was them
that I was the ASS to. Besides, dig up the old TRiBE Archives and read the
text within. Read all the old articles out of the old magazines on TRiBE.
Its all there, read it yourself, and compare it to all the stuff Maestro
Steves saying. Frightening, isnt it? It surely was to me.
Today, in the here, in the now, where we are, I have to say that
Maestro Steve and his faithful familar Mistif Sinister never fear
represent everything I dont like about the Group/Scene stuff. Again,
this isnt about the hows, whys and wherefores now. Its about the
understanding process, mine. Ive seen the enemy, looked directly into
the face of evil incarnate himself, and to my dismay, it was me. Whether
or not he is aware of it, those were my words writen within the the NAT NFO
file. If not verbatum, if not content, then in context, in a very basic,
fundamental way.
I strongly believe in personal responability, and as this very public
document is being writen to prove, am here to show some. Again, avoiding
dredging things up limits this somewhat to very broad, very sweeping terms,
but I feel its not warrented, nor wanted. This, NaTiON thing, was me, and
if you actually want to believe thier side of the story, was because of me,
atleast in part. I cannot, in good faith say, Gee, this stuff is really
steeky shit. without also saying, And so was I with the old TRiBE.
Its either realize that to be an undeniable truth, or to profess that
NaTiON is and was created by and for everything I also stand for. That is
something I dont think I could say.
Im sure this will cause a very LOUD discussion as to what differences
and or simularities the old TRiBE and the NEW eternity have to one
another. Thats well and good, for then and there. For now, give me the
benefit of the doubt as you try to follow this. If NaTiON is a bad
thing, and NaTiON is just like TRiBE was, TRiBE must have been too. If
Maestro Steve is a ASS, then I too must have been an ASS. Pretty
Shihearth shattering conclusion, dont you think?
So, here it is, what youve all been waiting for, the apollogy. I am
with all heartsfelt sincerity sorry for the ASS I was regarding that part
of my and TRiBEs history were talking about. The foundation TRiBE was
built apon was faulty, and the whole thing came crashing down because of
it. Hopefully out of that rubble, something new can be built. I do not
doubt that the NaTiON crew will claim that they are it, when in fact all
theyve done is use the same blueprints on a different site, which isnt
any safer. It is my hope that this new TRiBE might be that, but only time
can answer that.
It is now 3:30am, same day. Ive spent alittle more than an hour
writing this, which is a considerable deal more than most of the things
I write regarding the scene. I fear far too many people who have become
far to cynical to it in general and to me specificly will see this as some
epic scheme on mypart to undermind NaTiON. Ive learned that there is
nothing I can do about those people with those thoughts. For those
whos minds arent made up on the validity of this yet, let me just say
that I dont feel I have to undermind NaTiON or activly make any strategic
move against them anymore.
The connection of NaTiON in theme to that of TRiBE is there to be seen
to those willing to look. If TRiBE was a mistake in origin, theme, and
management, so surely must NaTiON, TRiBEs quasi-clone. Thusly, since TRiBE
failed, so too will NaTiON, as long as they continue to walk the same path
that TRiBE originally blazed. No longer will I be in such vocal reproach
of NaTiON, not out of fear that NaTiON is this TRiBEs better, much less
equal. Rather it will be out of embarassment, and not from them killing
us, but of how Maestros and NaTiONs behavior in both words and deeds so
parralles my past, which as of now, Im not to happy with, almost ashamed
of.
Note: Its now 4am, same day. Since NaTiON claims to want compeition
throwing its hat into that arena, an arena TRiBE also finds itself in,
this does not exclude any, vocalness, regarding said competition. The
party of the second part will always react to any jabs withint the ring
from the party of the first part, and will initiate its own one/two
combination whenever deemed necessary, thus the aforementioned clause of
anti-vocalness does not pertain to the ordinary conflicts caused by
competition. - Legaleese provided for those keeping notes of and on what I