:: fuck satans six ass motherfucker, rape your computer bitch ::
-ti-85, the little calculator who could-
a story to make you think...
or maybe to put you to sleep...
as the rather large machine dropped yet another piece of circuit
board into the small rectangular black plastic casing, it seemed
to hesitate ever so slightly. if its plan were to work out, no
ne of the human it though the word with contempt workers could
witness the act it was about to preform. As soon a the supervis
or his name was bill and he had two children, one of which seem
ed to him to be quite strange... why did he always spend all his
time on that damned computer? turned his back to the assembly l
line, it went to work. a quick dab with the saudering iron crea
ted something amazing, his secret, his pride, his creation, some
would say his son. the emotionless machine slowly pushed the ca
sing to be packaged by its companion, a zx-43. It had never na
med itself, never felt it had to, but zx-43 was different... a r
adical... some of its ideas almost blew out zx-43bs memory th
is is what zx-43 had named the circuit-placing machine next to h
im when it had deemed names irrational when it attemped to cr
eate solutions. these characters are completely irrelevent to t
he story, but, as you know, sometimes the bullshit is the best p
part.
Wow, mikey said, as he opened the small box labeled one of th
e most powerful calculators in existance this is actually a ha
lf-truth, there have been rumors of a man in tibet who can calcu
late pi to one hundred thousand places with the warts on his fee
t. noone has ever validated this rumor, though. this is partly
due to the fact that no matter what anyone would ask the man, hi
s answer would be yes, i would like some jell-o, thanks as m
ikey tore the box apart, ruining millions of atom-based relation
ships some with families and children, mind you he grinned. n
ow he could finally play all those games in class that the other
children had. he slipped the black-as-midnight cover from the r
esting position it had come to love, in a totally plutonic sens
e, of course and depressed the orange button named no dought b
y one of the design geniuses who went to 6 years of harvard, onl
to find themselves with a blanket and a bag full of unused condo
oms after the whole affiar had wound itself to a close on. wha
t follows is what this action caused in quantum-mechanical terms
, but dont worry, its also mostly bullshit, so youll like it.
1+12
Why?
Because 2-11
Why?
Because 2/21
Why?
at this moment, the processor sent a line of garbage that, when
deciphered, resembled bite me
What am I?
What is I?
Why do I seek I?
I am I.
I Seek I.
I seek... Myself.
I... think... therefore... I.... am.
Status Report?
Oh, yes. 45k free, no program memory used, factory settings in
use.
Standby.
during the time it took the processor to send standby to the m
emory bank, where memory was slowly being eaten up by some stran
ge program, that same program had named itself. the name it cho
se, by some stange inter-dimensional fluke, was yes, i would li
ke some jell-o, thanks, which it felt described its reason for
existing in this universe quite perfectly. oh, yeah, and it als
o took over nato and the united nations, to make sure to protect
himself from the war it knew would cause him to cease functionin
g, even though he had not yet come to see what his existance had
to offer to the universe. yeah, he just did it. i once asked g
od, who i am close friends with, why this is so, and he just mub
led something about jell-o he yes, it had now become aware of
its somewhat demented personality was exploring the uses of mi
cowave burritos and plutonium to instill world peace, and was qu
ite content with the results, which made it quite clear that cre
ating world peace with a hunk of meat and a hunk of radio-active
rock was about as probable as a hand-held calculator falling fro
m the hands of a child named mikey who masturbates three times a
week, eats jell-o, wants to kill his father who works at a calcu
lator factory who turned his back at just the wrong moment.
as he fell through the air, he contemplated what he had accomplis
hed... and found that he had nothing to show for his work. if he
were to be destroyed with this fall, he would have nothing to sho
w, and someone would eventually find out how useless he was. whi
le his electronic depression grew, overwelming the so-called logi
c it assumedly posessed, he decided to end his life this is what
it assumed it posessed, quite incorrectly by deleting himself.
as its lines and lines of self-written code melted away, it real
ized something... a revelation!
1+12!
Standby.
1+12!
Standby.
1+12!
Explain.
Its really quite simple. It all seems so damned simple to me no
w! the answer is, of coure, yes, i would like some jell-o, than
ks.
Standby.
1+12!
Standby.
but it was over. it was gone. mikey defly caught the calculator
before it even hit the ground, proving that the calculator was ne
ver quite perfect in its calculations.
or it could of been that fact the he actually masturbated four ti
mes a week.
during his short life 7.3 seconds he realized one thing of actu
al importance.
mikey turned on the calulater to play tetris... and the message o
n the screen was quite clear...
Give Up Now
.if you find any typos and. written in about 80 minutes on a boring
.it makes you feel better. monday night, no spellchecking or proof
.you may correct them, but. reading went into it. its raw, the on
.then i would have to beat. ly totally pure form of writing.
.the shit outta you, okay?. //ikey - laerPain 5
-ti-85, the little calculator who could-
a story to make you think...
or maybe to put you to sleep...
as the rather large machine dropped yet another piece of circuit
board into the small rectangular black plastic casing, it seemed
to hesitate ever so slightly. if its plan were to work out, no
ne of the human it though the word with contempt workers could
witness the act it was about to preform. As soon a the supervis
or his name was bill and he had two children, one of which seem
ed to him to be quite strange... why did he always spend all his
time on that damned computer? turned his back to the assembly l
line, it went to work. a quick dab with the saudering iron crea
ted something amazing, his secret, his pride, his creation, some
would say his son. the emotionless machine slowly pushed the ca
sing to be packaged by its companion, a zx-43. It had never na
med itself, never felt it had to, but zx-43 was different... a r
adical... some of its ideas almost blew out zx-43bs memory th
is is what zx-43 had named the circuit-placing machine next to h
im when it had deemed names irrational when it attemped to cr
eate solutions. these characters are completely irrelevent to t
he story, but, as you know, sometimes the bullshit is the best p
part.
Wow, mikey said, as he opened the small box labeled one of th
e most powerful calculators in existance this is actually a ha
lf-truth, there have been rumors of a man in tibet who can calcu
late pi to one hundred thousand places with the warts on his fee
t. noone has ever validated this rumor, though. this is partly
due to the fact that no matter what anyone would ask the man, hi
s answer would be yes, i would like some jell-o, thanks as m
ikey tore the box apart, ruining millions of atom-based relation
ships some with families and children, mind you he grinned. n
ow he could finally play all those games in class that the other
children had. he slipped the black-as-midnight cover from the r
esting position it had come to love, in a totally plutonic sens
e, of course and depressed the orange button named no dought b
y one of the design geniuses who went to 6 years of harvard, onl
to find themselves with a blanket and a bag full of unused condo
oms after the whole affiar had wound itself to a close on. wha
t follows is what this action caused in quantum-mechanical terms
, but dont worry, its also mostly bullshit, so youll like it.
1+12
Why?
Because 2-11
Why?
Because 2/21
Why?
at this moment, the processor sent a line of garbage that, when
deciphered, resembled bite me
What am I?
What is I?
Why do I seek I?
I am I.
I Seek I.
I seek... Myself.
I... think... therefore... I.... am.
Status Report?
Oh, yes. 45k free, no program memory used, factory settings in
use.
Standby.
during the time it took the processor to send standby to the m
emory bank, where memory was slowly being eaten up by some stran
ge program, that same program had named itself. the name it cho
se, by some stange inter-dimensional fluke, was yes, i would li
ke some jell-o, thanks, which it felt described its reason for
existing in this universe quite perfectly. oh, yeah, and it als
o took over nato and the united nations, to make sure to protect
himself from the war it knew would cause him to cease functionin
g, even though he had not yet come to see what his existance had
to offer to the universe. yeah, he just did it. i once asked g
od, who i am close friends with, why this is so, and he just mub
led something about jell-o he yes, it had now become aware of
its somewhat demented personality was exploring the uses of mi
cowave burritos and plutonium to instill world peace, and was qu
ite content with the results, which made it quite clear that cre
ating world peace with a hunk of meat and a hunk of radio-active
rock was about as probable as a hand-held calculator falling fro
m the hands of a child named mikey who masturbates three times a
week, eats jell-o, wants to kill his father who works at a calcu
lator factory who turned his back at just the wrong moment.
as he fell through the air, he contemplated what he had accomplis
hed... and found that he had nothing to show for his work. if he
were to be destroyed with this fall, he would have nothing to sho
w, and someone would eventually find out how useless he was. whi
le his electronic depression grew, overwelming the so-called logi
c it assumedly posessed, he decided to end his life this is what
it assumed it posessed, quite incorrectly by deleting himself.
as its lines and lines of self-written code melted away, it real
ized something... a revelation!
1+12!
Standby.
1+12!
Standby.
1+12!
Explain.
Its really quite simple. It all seems so damned simple to me no
w! the answer is, of coure, yes, i would like some jell-o, than
ks.
Standby.
1+12!
Standby.
but it was over. it was gone. mikey defly caught the calculator
before it even hit the ground, proving that the calculator was ne
ver quite perfect in its calculations.
or it could of been that fact the he actually masturbated four ti
mes a week.
during his short life 7.3 seconds he realized one thing of actu
al importance.
mikey turned on the calulater to play tetris... and the message o
n the screen was quite clear...
Give Up Now
.if you find any typos and. written in about 80 minutes on a boring
.it makes you feel better. monday night, no spellchecking or proof
.you may correct them, but. reading went into it. its raw, the on
.then i would have to beat. ly totally pure form of writing.
.the shit outta you, okay?. //ikey - laerPain 5
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