makeshift messiah by nirk fiend
makeshift messiah by nirk fiend
MakeShift Messiah
Allrighty then.. Let me introduce you to
someone Im sure youre going to love to
Circa 2OOO Something
Actual Religious freedom finally
enters the constitution of the
United States. At this time, it
becomes possible for the first
actual occupation no... not
pimping or lawyers to once
again be legalized. Yes, Zelo-
gomy is once again able to be
practiced throughout the 5 2
states. For you inbreds that
have no knowledge of this fine
career, let me explain... In
ancient times, people somewhat
realized that there can be no
moral blanket for everyone. So,
as part of the adolescent rituals
of every being, they were taken to
a zelogomist. A zelogomists goal
was to create the perfect religion
based on your thoughts, convictions,
and most all, your libido. To give an
example, lets look at two people..
Well call the first one Mike, and the
second one Brad. Mike is a violent man.
He wasnt born with the most brain power
on his side, and it definately shows.
Mikes idea of a good time is Kicking
a queers ass with a baseball bat,
Popping a big breasted bitch, and if
he has the energy after drinking two
six packs of the beer that was on sale,
Driving around in his pickup, and look
for critters to shoot. Now, in the
past, Mike would have probably been
identified as being what they used to
call A christian.. But, now, He gets
his own religion. Yep, Mike is the founding
member of Redneckianism. While I cant
go into depth, the ten commandments deal in
ways to kill a faggot, and the perfect
beer buzz. Sounds wicked.. dont it?
Next, we go to brad. We all know a brad..
Brad sits at home on his computer, and
calls up Bulletin Boards with his incredible
Super Duper Fast/K-rad/d00d/Im fucking cool
modem. Brads life basically consists of making
up cool 3 and four letters words, and putting
them after his handle. When he gets time out
from doing that, he zips up fake games and art
and sends them out under his group affil iMKRAD.
When brad went to the zelogomist, he had his own
religion made up. Kradithism. There are VERY
strict rules to this religion, including a very
high ripoff ratio, and of course, substituting
ss for zs, and saying d00d as much as possible!
After the institution of the zelogomist, the
world was definately a better place. Wars
ceased, crime stopped, and everyone lived
happilly with their respective religions.
The End.. Oh, The End