air//blender25
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: :l morose and dark element
l a I r l: team air 2 5 //
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i l entry :
: // here goes -
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Fable of the Caveman and the rockn roll superheroes
7 It was a slow day in the jungle.
7,yyybyydbyy, All the little animals sang songs
,db,l 8,db,::,db,8 of their ruler, the evil caveman.
:: l:lyy:lyyl:l They all liked the evil caveman,
47 lb47bd47dl but he did have some faults. Like,
:: :byydbyyd: for instance, he had the bad habit
::b ,db, of breakdancing on all the little
::7.,db,. bunnies he came over. The rabbits
,d@::@b, severely disagreeed to this, but
l ,d7:::airgood: 4b, knew that since the evil caveman
llllll l had a big, bad club with which he
88lllll 88 bludgeoned all the bunnies that
@@lll88 @@ wouldnt let him breakdance on them.
,db,lll88 :: But the animals still found the
iill:::ll88 byyd caveman to be a good ruler. All the
b47lll :bd: animals... Not really. The bunnies
byyd:: ll didnt like him. Neither did the
:ll: 88 zebras, since they often got raped
88 88 :: by the caveman when he felt lonely.
@@ @@ 47 And he felt lonely often, since there
7 ,db, ,db, 47 was no cavewoman he could fondle.
::88:88:
So, one day, the bunnies who were really fluffy and the zebras
decided to teach the caveman a lesson - once and for all. So, using
the infamous jungle telegraph they called the mighty hero Peter
Steele of Type 0 Negative, and his sidekick, Iggy. They arrived at
the jungle in their trusted bl00dmobile, screaming ANGST as they
jumped out heroically. Angst, mainly because they saw the light of
day, and the fact that everything seemed happy in the jungle.
The leaders of BZAABARC Bunny / Zebra Alliance Against Breakdancing
And Raping Cavemen, the bunny Joegen and the zebra Sven-Ingvar
approaced their heroes and spoke: Hail to you, the one of Steele
and to you Iggy, you who gave us Lust For Life. The two heroes of
darkness and rock and roll replied: This place is shit. Its some
kind of jungle, right? WE HATE JUNGLES! Now, who shall we terrify
with our awesome powers?
:: really unnecesary line explaining change of location :
... and at another place in the jungle, we find our courageous
caveman swinging in a vine in order to find a bunny to breakdance
on. As he swooped through the air with the greatest of ease, he
made his mighty scream echo all over the jungle: TAKE ON ME, TAKE
ME ON - AHA!.. The caveman had seen one too many old A-HA videos on
MTV. But, to his surprise, he could not find any bunnies. He then
decided to find a zebra to rape, but, to his great astonishment he
couldnt find any zebras either. Erheurumzzz he said, since he had
a severe vocal disorder, whar be bunnies? me want breakdance, me got
new battrys in cave boombox... He set down and started to walk
around in the humid jungle.
At the same time, but at a completely different location, Steele and
Iggy was warming up in order to scare the underwear from the caveman.
They were charging up their awesome powers with fresh supplies of
cigarettes and wine. When fully powered, and also a wee bit drunk,
they set of on their quest. It did not take long before they heard
the evil caveman humming some strange tune, but somehow the words he
said was familiar in some disgusting way... Slowly the two heroes
that hated the jungle crawled through the shrubbaries, and caught a
glimpse of their feared foe. The caveman was chilling just outside
the jungles seven-eleven, and slushed down a cup of java.
With a mighty leap, the heroes emerged from the shrubbary in which
they had hidden so bravely. ANGST! Peter Steele screamed, wielding
his mighty base guitar and struck a chord so low that the devil
himself decided to turn off his stereo, which normally played
sympathy for the devil for all eternity. The caveman flew into a
tree from the shock, and at the same time, Iggy removed his t-shirt
and revealed his bare chest! A sight that would make any man blind!
But the caveman quickly pulled up a pair of shades and protected
himself from the horrible sight and got back on his feet. Suddenly,
the two heroes realized what the cavemans true power was: He knew
EVERY song that was made in the -80s! And he knew how to use them!
Fear filled our heroes eyes... What would he sing? With a mighty
humming of some old intro, the caveman started singing one of the
most feared songs in the history of man, and cavekind: Touch me!
by Samantha Fox! The entire jungle trembled with fear as the battle
raged for hours, until...
Having moved the battle from the 7-11-shop to the open savannah, the
combattants had left a path of total destruction around them. Every
way they looked, they saw dead animals and crushed trees. But finally
Peter Steele and Iggy Pop decided to make a combined effort in order
to put an end to this battle, once and for all. They plugged up their
bl00dmobile to a pair of ambient jungle speakers made of coconuts and
pressed play on their trusty r0 Ludde tm stereo. The air filled
with the dreaded sounds of Black Sabbath - PARANOID! Oh, fear, oh
angst! The only thing the caveman was allergic to apart from shrimps
was metal from the -70s! With a terrified expression on his face, the
caveman dropped dead in front of a crushed and charred bunny.
The liberation of the republic of Vinnland by the United States of
Europe Peter Steele screamed and turned off the stereo. Phear us
said Iggy, for we are the rockn roll superheroes. Angst!. Then they
turned around to find the leaders of the BZAABARC, only to find them
dead in a combined pool of bunny and zebra blood. As a matter of fact,
there wasnt a living creature left in the jungle. There were no
bunnies to breakdance on, no zebras to rape, and no caveman to rule
with a iron hand. Oh well, this place sucked anyway. They just hated
us anyway! the heroes said and got into their bl00dmobile and left.
... And what have we learned from this story, children? Never call
two rockn roll superheroes when you are being breakdanced on, or
for that matter, raped. Things will only end up worse than it was when
you started. Just call AiR instead, and well blow them away.
:: morose1 bladeair wrote this magnificent piece. angst! :
Dark Element
AIR
much love goes out to:
BushyWeave, driftwood, blind sniper, aspyre, silent bob, aneurizm, rabies
brane, all of department tre-eight, Air, Plan 9, Impact, hmm....who else.
hydro,
.,,.,. + - air members who made this entry !+ - - - - - .,s.s.ss.5s, ---- - - - -- - -- - - - - - - - - - - + ,.ss.ss. l, // we who made this
ls l blender 25 entry l,s l: sss + - aspyre
SsssS + - hstate
+asp + - morose .sS,s,,s. sSs. + - element .,,,,s. s ,m, ,s. aspyre // blender header // , s. ,s --- that cave man pic!
,s , l,s.s4 ,s s, SS hstate // other cave man pic! SS
.s,s. morose // the story! .,s s,
, element // team air logo!
,s , + asp
+ --- - msS ,s --- --- - - - - - - --- - - - - --- -- +
greets // aspyre // serial2n , blkjack , air members, melfarr, compuman
sargon, mess, warhawk, tk, and everyone else i forgot !