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tWST-14.nfo
n EWS,. .
ive been away for the last couple of months, s
o this will
be a very inaccurate info file : but whats new? i d
o know that
lots of stuff has happened this last month, but we
ll come to
that in a minute. first off id like to say
where ive been.
* t HERUIN3rs story, . ,.
it was early on a sunday morning., i usually sleep
late on
sundays., but today i had to go to work. i work at
the future
shop now. its a neat place. i clean the warehouse, o
h what fun!
as i drove to work this particularily foggy morn
ing, i all
of the sudden noticed i had driven through some sor
t of dimen-
sional gate. what was supposed to be th
e intersection at upper
wentworth and rymal had become., .to my complete sur
prise,. the
door to some superior beings astral plane.
as i drove around the place in my1995 ford contour,
i began
to notice things. first off all the people wore whit
e face make
up and could only say one word, jESUS. second the
roads were
paved with peanuts. this, i thought, was quite neat.
i like pea-
nuts. and third, and most important,the trees didnt
have leaves
they had ... caramilktm bars!
i had discovered the caramilktm secret! nest
le workers
collect and package this dimensions leaves and
market them
as caramilktm bars. i must say i could mak
e a fortune selling
this secret, if only i could get home.
i wont bore you with the details of my escape, main
lycause
i forget, but i will tell you this. NESTLE isnt saf
e anymore.!
i know your secret, and i will go to the press if i
am not paid
a comfortable sum.
the rest of the two months i spent doinghomework an
d having
sex.
* loosely based on a true story.
l ast month., .
the following are a few events that happened in
june:
- ramirez was featured in his local paper, headline
read ansi-
leader exposed as crack lord. twisted denied any k
nowledge of
the events mentioned.
- tainted and c22 moved on to bigger and BETTER gro
ups. after
looking for weeks, they finally gave up and applied
to ice and
fuel, respectively.
- bad mojo threatened to quit, but soon backed down
when he saw
that everyone in twisted was idle.
- deelOts stole a pair of womens underwear from se
ars.i like
looking at the pictures on the package he later tol
d the press
- and finally the members of twisted all got toget
her for an
end of school bASH. i must say it was fun until gus
peed in the
pool and we were all sent home.
n ext month., .
is august.
-info and art done by tHERUIN3r