Turn Out the Lights - By The Stranger/SAZ

     The blinding flash of the light revealing its radiant beams
brings back the nightmares from the memory of my mind.  Memories
triggered by the sunshine of the lights bringing on the heat that
leads me to perspire.  My hand never finds the off switch that I
reached for twenty years ago in a world of pain and fear.
     The light flashes on and he is there, standing over me with
a coat of saliva dripping from his lips.  I hold the blankets
over me trying to shield the obvious but it is of no use.  For he
is there, searching for the lust he craves, knowing I am the
vulnerable victim, screaming in a child's world to elders who
won't hear my cries.  With the blanket tucked across my face,
with the feeling of pain already remembering how the night would
go, I hear the teeth of his zipper begin to bite.  
     His big paw rips the blanket from my clutches and I feel so
naked and afraid.  My skin explodes in goosebumps, he pulls out
his manhood and points it like a gun at its target.  I twitch
away from him wishing my bed was bigger, wishing the wall wasn't
there so I could fall out to the waiting ground and release me
from this punishment.  But he grabs ahold of my leg and pulls me
down towards the waiting stick of dynamite and with the strength
of wolves, hoists me on my stomach spreading me open and pulling
his trigger.  
     My heart pounds faster then he can thrust, my tears fall
like rain, my eyes wishing for the darkness to come and take me
away from this hell.  But he holds me tight, he moans and
sometimes when he knows it hurts he yells.  I try to hold the
pain in, never screaming, never giving him the pleasure.  But the
madman finds his own pleasure as I rise up and down crashing into
the bed like the ocean waves crashing into the shore.  
     My hand wishes for the lights to go off, to erase my vision
from the circumstances, to blind me of the truth that my eyes
wish to forget.  But the lights are bright like spotlights,
showing the world a show, embarrassing me for more years than I
will live.  I close my eyes but the light creeps into the corners
of the lids, the wallpaper in front of me with tiny bears playing
sports, come closer and than goes away and then comes closer and
then again they go away.  My dizzy head pounds, my hands reaching
out to kill those bears, to make them stop playing with me, but
he thrusts me into them and then away.  
     The hot sensation of blood trickling down my leg leaving a
puddle that would forever be a souvenir of the night.  My legs
grow numb from the pounding and my body feels all but dead and
two minutes later he pours his liquid in me, splashing around and
making me feel dirty all over.  He falls on top of me, knocking
my breath away for a peaceful second.  He quivers forward once,
twice and a final third time.  
     My hands reach back holding the pain as he brings himself
out of me.  The teeth bite back up the pants and I cry until the
moon and sun change places.  So many nights I lie awake with the
memories, bright light beating into my iris, the cold taste of
blood and semen working through my vowels.  Every night I try to
erase the memory and every night I pray to God, turn out the
lights. 

(c) 1994 The Stranger/SAZ.