To Be A Man

Sometimes a man has to make tough choices,
but a man has to be a man if he wants to be respected.
And sometimes these choices end up hurting others.
(father is that you)
(go back to sleep)
I've always had this problem with my temper,
I just couldn't control myself around women is all,
something about them got me going in a nasty way.
(father, what are you doing?)
(go back to sleep son. It's going to be alright)
When I was younger my father told me about women,
told me that they would use me,
they'd do anything to get to my money.
He told me all the bad things about women that he thought I need
to know.
(Father!)
The girls in school would talk nasty about me just as my father
said they would.
But after school in the field behind my house,
my father and I would teach them a lesson they wouldn't forget.
And know as I grow old, I reflect on the man I've been.
(I'm sorry son)
(Dad, whats going on in there)
(Chris, go back to your room. I'll come see you in a minute)
They're was nothing more important to my father then teaching his
boys to be a real man, and I taught the same thing to my son.
The blood that runs through my father, runs through me, runs
through my two boys.
And now, as I reach the age of fifty I see that he was wrong.
(what's wrong, father)
(nothing, boy, nothing)
I watch my boys from my window as they dragged a girl from town
out into the forest behind my house.
And I could feel vile crawling through my stomach like a snake.
And I knew that they were what I was, what my father had made me.
And I knew there was only one way to stop the violence.
(Father!!)
(Don't move son, stay still)
So I sit now in my kitchen, my fathers corpse sitting across the
table from me.
On the table stands the axe I killed my father and my boys with.
The blade points up directly at my skull.
Sometimes its hard to be a man, but sometimes a man has to make
choices, no matter how hard or foolish they may seem.
I can't allow my families legacy to go on the way it is,
and I know it will continue unless I put an end to it.
It's in the blood, you see.
Sometimes you have to do horrible things to be a man.
And as I throw my head against the axe's blade, I know that I'm a
real man.


















Foolish Girl            


Don't tell me your name now
for I'll only forget it
Men have short attention spans you know.
For now I only want to think of us
not you not me but us.
Petty things like a name
only get in the way
save it for later and better
 tell me twice.
For once, I will hear you
for twice, I will listen.
We are so close I can feel your heart
beating like a drummers beat.
My hand slides over your chest
feeling the softness of your breast.
How old did you say you were?
never mind, I'm better off not knowing.
Foolish girl who believes in love
 Men are not women you know.
Believe what you want
but don't bore me with childish stories.
You had something I needed
 something I craved
 and thats why your here.
 not love.
Don't talk, just lie their while I watch you
your safer that way.
Foolish girl who belives in love
Love is not real
Love is a childhood fairytale
we are real.
I am real..



Does the Sun Shine?         


Does the sun shine?
Tell me darling.
Because all I know is dark 
and all I see is darkness
and I know you know.
I've heard you speak of the outside
and I know you go out alone
I've waited behind that shadow
calling your name in a dream
but you just don't come out anymore. 
Look up at that lovers moon
waiting for someone like us
but maybe you've found a lover in the light.
For your sake that better not be true
the sun plays tricks my darling
sometimes its not as bright
as it should be
Does the sun shine?
I need to know
for your sake and mine.
Does the sun shine?



Emptied                 


     They Watch me.
     I stand before them
          waiting.
     They are anxious. 
     They chant something
          something I won't hear.
     The noose tightning,
     breath struggling;
     Yells, screams, growing;
          I am emptied.
     Space the only thing under me.
     My neck squeezed shut;
          Mouth
     dripping with saliva.
     Screams in the distance
          fading
     Dark shadows surrounding me.
     Light burning out.
          Life
     Floating away.



Taste                    

     Blood spilling
     You taste
          a part of me.



Somewhere is the Light

     The shadow of the night
     drawing pictures on my skin
     My eyes tracing images behind the dark
     A slight touch of cold from the wind.
          And somewhere is the light.
     
     The wolfs howl crying from above
     calling for me to come
     My heart pounding the drummers beat
     A slight fear making my senses numb.
          And somewhere it is bright.
     
     The radiant waves splashing in the distance
     pulling me closer to the clear
     My sweat pouring down a river
     A slight echo of voices tell me I'm near.
          And somewhere blinds the night.

     The final step between light and dark
     Crossing over into the rapture
     My head telling me I was tricked
     A slight scream and I am captured.
          And somewhere fades the light.




Rain

     The clouds grew dark and deep
     as they carried me to my grave
     The wind blew hard for me
     a final goodbye wave
     Slowly they walked
     as the cries grew loud
     For once I was in the spotlight
     not just a face in the crowd
     I could hear music off in the distance
     the last I would ever hear
     My coffin was lowered
     which brought on scatters of tears      
     And then it happened
     to help fuel the pain
     The clouds opened up
     and down came the cold rain
     My followers all left
     once again I was alone
     As it rained I got settled
     in the place I'd call home.




Rob this is where the Short-Shorts (melodic Poems) start.. There
are six of them so just pick out 2 or 3 that you like and go with
it...



Thinking of You


     A dark smokey room, the air hot and moving.  Fog rolling in
through the windows, the excitement of anxiety rushing through
the veins.  Voices looming in the distance, fear breaking sweat,
moisture making the hand slippery.  A fan wipping from above
sending streaks of coldness down across the skin.  The knife
trying to escape my hand, it's eagerness being felt by myself as
well.  The shadow underneath the blankets, the body forming the
shape I dream of.
     The blood escaping the exit at the first touch.  The body
coming to life and my grip growing strong across the neck.  The
smooth strokes of the knife, skin crossing over and coming up,
veins dancing like live electrical wires.  The fight coming to an
end, her falling back down onto the bed staring at me and then
closing her eyes only to open them a second later.  The taste of 
her lips, the taste of the blood.  My face black with smears of 
her wine.
     Hot coursing blood crawling down in between my fingers.  The
stale odor teasing my senses.  A scream cutting through the night
like my blade slicing at skin.  Dark brown eyes floating in a sea
of red, growing bigger and wider.  The naked flesh of the chest
quickly rising and falling, searching for air.  The soft feel of
skin being rubbed, the pulsating veins only a strike away.  My
own scream of ecstasy shattering the calm night air.  Her breath
faltering, my own quickening with a final thrust. Satisfaction
burning in me, my knife no longer searching, a soft final kiss to
remember the night. 
     These images always play over in my mind when I am allowed
to think of you.  That night you awoke me to a new world and for
that I owe you my life.  And as your wounds heal and your life
becomes a shadow of what you once knew, remember me.  For even
behind bars I find myself often thinking of you and soon they
will let me go.  And I will come rushing back to you to relive
that night, so we will never forget the night we shared long ago. 
But this time, we play for keeps.





The End


     Baby, baby, crawl in between the crevice of my bosom.  Let
my heart beat one last time for you.  Rest your eyes, let them
fall down and blind your vision of all the pain you once knew. 
Allow the worlds heartache to evaporate from your mind and let
only my love guide you to another place.  Now hush now, baby,
don't let me see those tears.  Wipe, wipe them away and live
forever in peace.
     Father, father, please don't yell anymore.  Time has all
been lost for such nonsense and we have only time to forgive. 
Can we find a way, for once, to live as friends, and no longer
live as two opposing forces.  Damn the years that have past, but
save some love for the new.  Children grow so fast, why close
your eyes if even for a moment?  I crawl away a baby and I walk
back a man.  Quiet, quiet now, we have no time to fight anymore.
     Mother, mother, never forget what you are to me.  Don't
spend time thinking what could have been, only remember what was. 
Cry for me one last time, then wash your tears away, never
remember my face but never forget my memory.  Could you hold me,
hold me tighter than ever before.  But will you let go?  I have
been tied by your love, never to be released, and though once I
may have hated you for it, now I wish you would have never cut me
loose.  Live, live your life trying to erase the pain of me.
     Close your eyes one last time, sing the song that we both
know.  Sleep forever, resting all your bones.  Dream of me
whenever the nightmares keep you up.  Let visions float in your
mind, let all the pain fly away, let all the hate dry out of your
soul.  Cross over the circle, cross over to the end.  Leave all
of your worries there, leave all of your enemies there, leave
everything that has kept you down.  Cross over to the end, and
then come back again.




I Will Return  


     Release the dogs of hell down upon me with fangs as sharp as
Satans knife barreling for my throat to end this twenty years of
endless suffering.  Throw me to my grave like the dying knight,
with honor shadowing his wounds.  Leave with me the anguish of
childhood prayers left unanswered and speak of my name only
behind the darkness of the night and even then in a whisper. 
Cast out the fools who won't touch me, who won't face my piercing
eyes, who won't condemn me.  I have no use for you all.
     Bring me your sick and I will share my strength, give me
your tired and I allow them to rest their heads across my chest. 
I am the unwanted, the pilgrim child who knows of what he speaks
but is kept quiet.  Gather your fire and allow the flames to lick
on my poor soul.  I am the beast who feeds of your pain.  Shower
me with madness, caress me with hate, build a domain for only I
to rest.  Help me join the lasting ties of my creator, to be with
those who brought me here.  
     My lips wish only for the taste of blood, the dark savor of
the wine flowing down my throat.  Bring me lies, lies of your
ages, your worlds, your kind.  Challenge me with guns and knives
and I will take you with me when I leave.  Cry when I go with a
smile on your face, feel my blood leave you, cleansing you.  But
remember the mark I leave with you, remember the hate that
enticed you to come when not asked.  Remember the suffering my
children once brought you and remember it well.  For I leave, but
I will return.  
     I will return.  To nestle your young and to break your old. 
To remind you of what I was and to find my new followers.  Love
can be forgotten, love can be lost.  But hate stays with you
forever, ripping at your heart, tearing at your soul, and
poisoning your veins.  I will return when the moon stands high
and full, when the trees stand like skeletons waiting to be born
once more, when the angels have all but left.  I will return,
feasting on the mourners, and ravishing my lost love, you.  
     A sky of blue turns dark, a villain waits in the shadows.  I
control them all.  Curse my name and I will wait in your sleep. 
The rusty spikes driven into my skin, the hatred you were born
with, and the monsters of the night.  They are my weapons now. 
Speak light of me, I hear.  Watch the moon tonight my child, for
I wait for it to grow full, for the soft smell of winter to sneer
its nasty smile.  And then I will return.  








Cool Hand


     And seeing his eyes brought me back to the time when we once 
ran together.  The black ball of his eyes floating in a blue 
ocean set against the white sandy shore.  His aged lips made it 
hard to believe that a smile once sat there.  A crop of graying 
hair nestled further back on his forehead then I remembered but 
still it twisted in curls.  His skin worn like baggy pants over 
the fragile bone with red blush fooling the eyes to believe he 
was still alive.  The eyes could be fooled, but the heart can 
not, my friend was dead.
     And the memories come back, playing like a movie across the
screen of your mind.  I remember the good times, the bad times,
and even the times in between.  We dared to live when age meant
getting older not getting closer.  The roller coaster went up and
the roller coaster went down.  We never held the bar, we raised
are hands screaming, challenging death, mocking life.  Life tried
to put us on trial but we used childhood as are defense.
     And now you lay calmly, without motion, in a box that looks
old, yet with a sense of fright, it looks as if it was made for
you.  I can't help but stare at you, maybe it's a nostalgia going
on in my head about who you once were.  Or maybe I look at you to
see what I will become.  My one regret is that it's been so long
since we last looked upon each other.  Your eyes stare up into 
the sky as mourners come in close to see the death of it all.  I 
wonder what your eyes see know.
     And I reach down to hold the hand I once knew as well as my
own and I can feel the chill before we touch.  My fingers crawled
across his hand feeling the coldness of death and the tickle of
the tiny hairs.  My fingers rubbing across the cool hand, feeling
the roughness of the bone and the tough tenderness of the skin. 
Patches of blue sickness were covered like dirt under the welcome
mat by make-up.
     And I held onto his cool hand, sinking my fingers into the
skin.  And his hand was like ice, so cold I could feel my own
hand start to become numb.  Tears washing down from my eyes as my
hands came together folding over his own.  My hands rubbing at
his cool hand trying to bring in the warmth I once remembered,
trying to bring back the friend I once remembered.  
     And I felt them pulling me away, clutching at my hands to
release the hands of the corpse.  And I rubbed, feeling a sense
of warmth trying to flush in his palms, feeling the nerves begin
to jump once again.  And then the hand came alive and gripped the
cuff of my shirt and they released me and looked at my friend in
shock.  I held onto his warm hand feeling him hold onto my own
hand and then those dark balls sailed across the ocean until they
were looking at me.  And those aged lips turned up where I knew
they belonged and I smiled back at him.  
     And then his hand released and I allowed it to fall back
into his coffin.  I look at him once more through eyes that only
can see a childhood friend resting until it's time to go out and
play once more.  Now I know I'll be ready as well.