LINUX WARS: A NEW KERNEL episode iv, chapter 2. creative consultant: Empty technical consultant: Ohseven/shicho-do writer and all around god: WindRider **recap of the previous installment** fuck that, go read wr-lwars.txt in rmrs19, you lazy sack of shit. *** Dawn rose over the dry desert town that Omi Skywalker called home. Drifting slowly back from his dream, he rolled over in bed to find himself tenderly stroking B0ar3P0. "What the @#$@?! What are you doing in here? A was having such a great dream about the princess." "Well, master Skywalker, you ARE a master of my system...if you know what my poorly compiled and humble self is attempting to imply oh so vaguely." B0ar3P0 sighed suggestively. "That's it, if you're gonna talk like a WinBitch (tm), then i'm gonna beat you like a WinBitch (tm)." Omi was clearly not impressed. "Might I suggest, sir" B0ar3P0 interrupted, "that we hurry to your landspeeder and track down G0at2D2 before he gets himself in real trouble." "You mean my new Range Rover? Okay, let's find the little bastard before old Whod gets his hands on him. There are rumours that he...does things...to unsuspecting bots." "That would indeed be unfortunate. I still have not finished punishing him. But that's another story." *** <> Instead of me describing it, go grab a MatchBox toy car and roll it back and forth along the front of the keyboard, yelling "VROOM VROOM!" loud enough so that the neighbours hear you and call the cops. <> *** Princess Kaleia found herself onboard of Darth Balmer's flagship, the 'TouchMeI'mFeelingSexy'. Balmer came forward to inspect his prisoner. "Very nice, but there will be time for that later. WHERE is the rebel base?" "I'LL NEVER TELL YOU!" Kaleia screamed at Balmer and the StoonTroopers. "Torture me as you wish, but i will never divulge the location of the secret rebel base." "I can respect that." Darth Balmer chuckled. He turned to the StoonTroopers. "Bring me 3 hours of motivational speeches by our esteemed Emperor Gates!" "The base is on Dantooine." Kaleia quickly stated. "Dantooine? I know not this place." "Monkey-ass, perhaps you better know it as San Jose" she spat. "Excellent. Bridge, set a course for San Jose." "Yes sir" came the call from the bridge. "we just have to make a quick stop at a Chevron to gas up, and so that Lloyd can take a whiz." "DAMMIT!" Darth bellowed. " I TOLD Lloyd not to get that slurpee at the Galactic MiniMall." and so ends this section of the story. Kinda short, but that's what happens when you accidentally erase a file. So i patched this together fairly quick. a final product should arrive on your shelves in the next 4-8 years. ciao. WindRider (quad-p/remorse) ********************************************************************** CAST OF CHARACTERS: (many to be seen in future chapters) Omi Skywalker Empty Solo Poly Fett Emperor Gates Darth Balmer Chewie Protagawookie Princess Kaleia G0at2D2 B0ar3P0 Bugsy the Hut y0whirrda CainCor the Pit Monster Dyone Calrissian The Millennium Falc4nn Admiral Necromango Mon Reno Obiwh0d Kenobi Bib Oneduna StoonTroopers Grand Moff Seven Tzeenwoks SAUCE00Linux Wars: A New Kernel - Vol. 2 WindRider REMORSE 19980129