> The Top 15 Problems Encountered Along the Olympic Torch Route > -------------------------------------------------------------- > 15) Forward progress hampered by slow moving white Bronco. > 14) Torch commandeered in Waco by over-zealous ATF agents. > 13) One *really* pissed off Smokey the Bear. > 12) Budget cuts cause torch to be replaced by less-than-dependable Bic > lighter. > 11) Difficulty getting melted marshmellows off torch after "s'mores" > party got out of hand. > 10) Running 7 miles before realizing the torch is still on top of the > urinal at the last rest stop. > 9) First-degree burns to runners unfamiliar with how to "receive the > baton." > 8) Jim Bob, lying in wait on the outskirts of Memphis with a case of > Bud and a supersoaker. > 7) Rosie Ruiz takes flame in NYC -- appears 30 minutes later in > Atlanta. > 6) Drive-by goosings. > 5) Torchbearers driven insane by repeated playing of the "Chariots > of Fire" theme. > 4) Torch-jackings in urban areas. > 3) Crazed hippie terrorists replace Olympic Torch with new Olympic Bong. > 2) Male runners repeatedly get lost and refuse to stop for directions. > > and the Number 1 Problem Encountered Along the Olympic Torch Route... > > 1) Obnoxious drunks who run up and yell, "No, I meant a BUD light!"