*** Transcript taken from http://members.aol.com/tlyco/thewords.html ***
Sick of the Swiss
Transcribed from: Comedy Central
Transcribed by: Tlyco@aol.com
Scott is Ed. Mark is unnamed. Scott his standing on a chair, with
his leg up on a desk and hes leaning over on it, to be in your
face. Mark is standing next to him, a little behind.
Scott: Hello. My name is Ed.
Mark: speaks sing-songy throughout Hes sick of the Swiss.
Scott: Thats right! Im sick of their good reputation.
Mark: Hes realllly sick of the Swiss.
Scott: Im sick of their cheese. Im sick of their chocolate. And,
Im especially sick of their blocky heroine, Heidi.
Mark: Hes sick of the Swiss. He dont like em.
Scott: I mean, every other nation in the world has taken their turn
being maligned and slandered. But not the Swi-iss!
Mark: Icky, yucky, stinky, stupid Switzerland.
Scott: Well, that situation is over as of now. *Move* over America
theres a new asshole on the map! Ive had it up to here with your
skiing heroes! Ive had it up to here with your mountains! Ive had
it up to here with your secret *bank* accounts! From now on,
Switzerland, your name is mud.
Mark: If you roast em all in a fondue pot, sure bet ya that
theyll complain a lot. Whiny, whiny Switzerland.
Scott: Yeah. Its *war* between the Swiss and me. But, theyve
never done anything wrong, you say.
Both: Ha!
Scott: What about the clock?
Mark: The clock.
Scott: Huh? If they hadnt invented the clock, Id still be in bed.
. .dreaming!
Mark: Its time. Its time. looks at watch Oh! Its time to hate
the Swiss.
Scott: Zuricheads! Cuckoo cuckoos! Land locked losers!
Mark: Zuricheads. . .
Scott: Neutral ninnies! Boring bankers! Chalet pimps!!
Mark: Oh yeah, his name is Ed--hed like to see the Swiss dead!
Hes sick of the Swiss!
Scott: sticks finger in mouth and gags
Mark: Hey! Got a problem with that Belgium?!
Scott: gives the two-handed equivalent to the finger Umph!
Credit to Kids in the Hall/Broadway Video