J U N E 1 9 9 8
1. Welcome to the iCE Physical Therapy Ward! On your left - the man we know
as Doctor SlipperyFinger, Force Ten! Hes not the one with the Frito-flavored
nipple clasps, but you can see the top of his head over that large man we found
on the street pawning dollar bills. Next to him you can see Mass Delusion,
teaching those small naked children Spanish and holding up that one to get the
funnel from the nice woman baking pies. Boy! I hope that plastic tube doesnt
catch the hook holding up the suspension-harness, or that old woman is going to
get some SERIOUS rug-burn!
2. Doodlebug, our PR Spokeperson and star of Cleopatra Jones, was seriously
wounded during the mad rush when the tour bus unloaded the new members of iCE.
In order of the number of testicular nodules, here is the new crew that can be
seen walking the cramped halls of our office space: The Knave - an old ACiD
fellow, attended his first iCE Sleep-over, and held the candle with the lights
out and told us all about his childhood fears. Needless to say, we all felt
the same way about the Kool-Aid Mantm, so he was admitted immediately.
Shoten, an energetic vga artist, told us of his love for fresh packing tape on
his nether regions, and was unanimously welcomed. Mads Vester, a friendly
Dane, felt funny around dogs - resulting in a fantastic welcome! Nosegos
showed us his embarassing birthmark and the fun just didnt stop there, so he
was quickly brought into the fold.
3. Trauma and iCE have parted ways, sadly rather unpleasantly. Trauma will
most likely never be returning to iCE, but we wish him well in all his
endeavors and sexual conquests.
4. Inazone, along with his sock puppet Guido, will be taking over for Kadaver
and Count Zer0 as the new ansi coordinator. He told us to let everyone know
that he has a shiny new bike and rides it every day and his mom said they can
take the training wheels off next week if hes good. But he refuses to eat the
broccoli, and complains that its not fair that he has to ride a bike with
training wheels at age 22. She told him to go to his room.
5. Vesalius, now a full doctor with a family and a serious love for turds, has
just become too busy to keep up his zany, crazy job of VGA Coordinator. While
we were sulking over who to choose as the new VGA head, Roland came around the
corner holding aloft his brand new AK-47 with a crowd of angry FBI agents
directly behind him. As a result, Roland is the new VGA Head. His first act
was to declare himself VGA Coordinator For Life VCFL, so we expect to be
working with him for quite some time in the future.
6. Slothy, that assy Lord Soth turd, is now Senior Staff again. Bad move, but
everyones entitled to their mistakes. Word on the street is that Slothy is
already plotting to collect a tax on childbirth in order to finally purchase
his very own Oscar Meyer food plant. Grand plans - lets see what comes of it.
7. We hope you enjoy this pack! The ansi team all came out this month to take
part in the grand party we had. We put on our skimpiest clothes and showed off
what we got and shook it all around the dance floor, and we think youll dig
our swinging shimmy - we know that Sinned Soul of ACiD sure does.
- Lord Soth
Lord Soth Cold and Ugly Force Ten Mass Delusion