F U E L 28 - I N F O
Prologue...
Nov 2018, Western Pennsylvania
Atop a large hill stood a small outhouse. Upon the outhouse stood a
large man. He lit a Marlboro red. The lighter briefly illuminated the
pitch black sky, revealing a flock of bats in the distance. The man
squinted.
The bats slowed upon approaching the outhouse, coalescing into the
figure of a pale man.
Jopro Hufter.
Count Drakula, youve returned...
I sense...something. Ominous. I believe FUEL is under threat.
Yes, burps warned us.
I think the danger is grave.
You sleep in a grave, everything looks like a grave.
Jopro...
Burps has said that we will survive.
And you believe this?
Drakula...Burps is always right.
Still...best to be careful.
JoPro flicked his cig and pulled a cheeseburger out of his pocket.
FUEL is good people. Well handle it.
The Lab, FUELHauS, Chamber 18
Its cold. Ice cold. Just the way I like it. Im plugged in. Im
whirring. Im comfortable.
Necro is worried. Something Burps said. But I am fine. Deep Freezer
is always...chill.
SHINK Someone is opening me.
Ah, Zeus IIs voice. One left...perfect
Hes going for it?
Zeus II I say dont do it!
Why not?
Thats Pings last Monster, I plead you know what happens when I
run out of Monsters for her.
Yes. Im counting on that. Zeus II laughs. Almost musically. What
is going on with him? So I ask.
What is going on with you?
Dont worry about that Deep Freezer. In fact...forget we spoke.
Zeus takes out an instrument. Hes playing..a forro...and..wha?
Weird. I feel like something just happened yet I cant remember
anything. Indeed, according to my internal chronometer, the last
few minutes are a blur. I should ask Burps...oh weird, an override
telling me not to ask Burps about this. Ok. Well back to what I
do best...chillin!
Western Pennsylvania, Early November
The buggie pulled up to the bottom of the large hill. Two riders
dressed in the modest garb of swiss-german anabaptists tied up
the horse.
Be a good girl Xero, dont get into any trouble, one said,
lovingly caressing the horse.
Xero neighed approvingly.
The men turned and approached the hill, their eyes gazed upon the
outhouse.
HeY bUdDy YoU RiLlY tHiNK tHIs cOuLd WoRk?
SMACK
Its simple my dear Filth. We ask them for help, then we ruin them!
BuT u SeD tHeY gOt a DaNg MuLtI-FrEqUeNcY-sCraMBleR?
I happen to know that their multi-frequency-scrambler is currently
stuck in Pauly Shores magical undersea kingdom.
oH dAmN i ReAlLy WaNtEd tO SeE iT
The harvest was bountiful, as brother Alpha prophesized. Now is the
time to destroy those who utilize modern methods of propulsion.
They continued up the mountain, approaching the outhouse.
I dOnT gEt iT mIsFiT! It JuSt LoOkS LiKe aN oUtHoUsE tO Me! HoW cAn
tHis Be ThE MiGhTy FuElS hEaDqUaRtErs?!?
Looks can be deceiving, Filth. Misfit said Just one of the many
reasons to disdain modern technology. O.U.T.H.O.U.S.E. Actually
stands for Other-Universal Technology Harmonizing Over Universal
Spectrum Elevation. Their complex is larger than the entire hill and
goes far underground and is full of all kinds of awful technologies.
Thy arrive @ the outhouse. MiSFiT knocked on the door.
SUP LOSERS. I HEARD YALL SUCK DICKS FOR LIKES.
An eye appeared out of a hole in the wall.
A voice that sounded like Burps said wat is jouw naam?
HeY gUyZ iTz Me FiLtH I hOpE yOu LiKe PpL tHaT TaLk LiKe ThIs aNd
ShIt butTeR EvRyWhErE cUz tHaTz My ThIng!
MiSFiT smacked him. Shut up you moron.
The Burps-resembling-thing asked: wat is jouw Zoektocht?
Ill show you mine if you show me yours.
Wat is de luchtsnelheid van een onbelaste zwaluw?
WeLl WaLlooniAn oR fLeMi...
SHINKT!
MiSFiT FiLTH gagged, finding themselves choked by a garrote across
the neck. They struggled, using all the strength they had built up
from many years of barn-raising, but to no avail. Deprived of oxygen,
they eventually passed out. The man responsible chuckled to himself.
2 amish in 3 minutes! Ye gods m gettin ol! Gotta do better than
this. Alrite, come on Mila. Time to pay a visit to Mr. Necro.
sAVaGe gracefully scooped up MiSFiT and FiLTH and walked into the
outhouse.
JoPro was eating a cheeseburger when WarpuS walked up.
WarpuS: Hey Propane
JoPro: Sup
WarpuS: So...I was thinking of getting a cheeseburger.
JoPro: That right?
WarpuS: I was told to ask you what type of cheeseburger is best?
JoPro: Well thats a pretty serious question Warpus. I could just tell
you that the best cheeseburgers have american cheese and texas toast.
WarpuS: Cool...
JoPro: BUT it aint that simple. the truth is you dont want to get
the best cheeseburger.
WarpuS: I dont?
JoPro: Hell no motherfucker. You want the cheeseburger to get the best
you. If youre really serious about this, you need to go out and get
your life together. Get everything in order. Clean your room. Become
a person thats proud of themselves. Become a person who looks in the
mirror and serenades themeselves...Like a ROCK. STRONG as I can Be.
Then and only then when you become that kind of person, then youll
be ready for a cheeseburger.
WarpuS: Thanks for the advice pro! I really owe you one.
JoPro: How can you pay back the man that already has everything in the
whole goddamn world?
WarpuS: Uh, I dont kmow?
JoPro: That means get lost. Ive got Joe Rogan podcasts to hear.
The Lab, FuelHaus, Chamber 18
MiSFiT FiLTH find themselves strapped down to an operating table. A
scientist in a white lab coat w/ a long pink ponytail paces to fro.
Monster...monster...I need a monster.
HeY pInG aRe U gOnNa MaKe Me PiNgUiNoS MoNsTeR?!
She turned, flashing a terrifying smile, and slinked over to Filth.
She grabbed his hand and caressed it
Little Filth, she purred monsters are ugly. Im going to make you
something beautiful.
YoUr GoNnA MaKe Me BeAuTiFuL?!?!?! I dIdNt ThInK ThAt WaS PosSibLE?!
You idiot. MiSFiT turned to him this aint a makeover! See that
device?
YeS?
Thats her LUMINATOR. It turns human beings into pure light through
the magic of pharmacological drugs.
Oh.
See DEEP FREEZER over there? Thats where she stores her psycho
drugs. See JoPro over there? He converts cheeseburgers to propane.
Propane powers the LUMINATOR.
WhAtS thAt MiSFiT?? FiLTH points at a box on the table.
Thats Detroit style pizza. PiNG said.
ooooh everyone said.
The point is, Ping turned I feed you the drugs, and turn on the
Luminator and cell by cell your egos r obliterated into pure light.
Its real pretty, JoPro said between bites.
Alright, enough of this, JoPro, flick the switch!
initiating LUMINATOR...
avg
FWAMP!
The Luminator whirred and turned and twisted. The drugs were working.
Everyone could feel it all around. But something was wrong. Something
was coming out of MiSFiT and FiLTH. And it was not light.
What is that?! WHAT IS GOING ON? Ping shouted.
BUTTER....Butter was spewing out of FiLTH and MiSFIT...everywhere.
YOU FOOLZ!!! DID YOU FORGET THAT WE HAVE BEEN THRU RUMSPRINGA! WE
ARE IMPERVIOUS TO YOUR MODERN TECHNOLOGIES!
FWANK!
Ping shut down the luminator. The entire room was covered in German
butter with flecks of horse manure.
THIS IS DISGUSTING Ping cried. MiSFiT laughed. Ping busted out a
walkie talkie sAVaGe get in here! Take these asses away!
What am I going to do about my lab?!?! She wailed.
Dont worry Pingi, Jopro said we have a CLEANER in FUEL.
CELL BLOCK 7, FuelHaus, Chamber 7
MiSFiT and FiLTH had been scrubbed, shackled, and taken to a
conference room. They sat alone. A door opened. sAVaGe walked in,
ZeusII behind him, and behind both of them---
HoLY sHiT PhIl ColLiNs!! FiLTH screamed wHaT aRE yOu DoInG HeRe?!
Hi FiLTH Phil Collins said.
I lOvE yOuR wOrK!! FiLTH screamed wHaT aRE yOu DoInG HeRe?!
Im The Knight of Fuel. Phil explained.
Oh Wow -- I kNoW wErE sUpPoSeD to haTe U BuT tHaT is K-RaD
Listen. We dont have to hate each other. Something is changing. I
can feel it... in the air tonight.
MiSFiT belched.
Look...I realize weve gotten off on the wrong foot. The scene is a
land of confusion, with not enough love to go around. So I wanted to
offer you guys a token of our kindness. These are Belgian Chocolates
and hand-rolled cigs. I rolled them myself.
FiLTH grabbed the chocolate and tobacco and smeared it all over his
body and face. The mix of chocolate, tobacco, Swiss-German butter,
and horse manure was revolting.
MiSFiT grabbed the remaining cigs and threw them back at TeaKay,
YOUR MUSIC SUX PHIL.
sAVaGe snarled and lunged at MiSFiT but TK/Phil grabbed him, strugling
to hold him back.
Enough Ivan, lets let Necro handle this.
The temperature dropped noticeably as Lord Necro emerged.
His voice was the sound of yoga pants ripping.
MiSFiT: We have a lead on...Chromatik.
Necro: That...is...ridiculous.
MiSFiT: Filth, pull out the scroll.
FiLTH opened his satchel. A horseshoe and two plants fell out. He dug
in. butterdirt went everyhwere. Finally he pulled out the scrollemail.
Lord Necro examined it.
Necro: Chromatik is....tied to a server rack...at Carnegie Mellon?
MiSFiT: Yea with Boba Fett and Pauly Shore.
Necro: Damn...that is Chromatiks style...you cant...fake...that.
MiSFiT: No you belgian dipshit, you cant fake Chromatik. Now let me
out of these shackles and lets go get them!
Necro: Why...do...you...care...about...Chromatik?
MiSFiT: Damn you are dense necro. CHROMATIK IS A PROTESTANT FROM
PENNSYLVANIA. HES ONE OF US.
Necro: Ok...we...will...go..together.
Savage: Wait wait wait. Thas not a good idea mates. We cant jus
trus AMSHiT Now....
Necro: Burps...said....to...trust.
Savage: Alright, at least lemme come and make sure these two
fuckers dont do anything.
Necro: No...stay...keep...Fuelhaus...secure.
Zeus II: You will need something to keep you safe too.
Necro: But...what?
Zeus II: Pings magical lightwhip. It turns anyone it touches into
pure oscillating light.
Ping: IM NOT LETTING ANYONE TOUCH MY MAGICAL LIGHT WHIP. I LOVE THAT
WHIP. I WON IT BY EATING PUMPKIN SPICE SUSHI @ SUSHI BAR Z!
TK: Great board.
Zeus II: Ill trade you 20 monster whites for it.
Ping: ...Fine.
Necro: How...will....we...
MiSFiT: We can ride our trusty horse Xero!
Carnegie Mellon University, Pittsburgh.
Xero neighed as he pulled up to Oakland, historic home of Carnegie
Mellon University.
What the hell is this? TeaKay asked.
Around them were tunnels, oscillating circles, moire patterns,
plasma effects.
It appears, Necro said that Carnegie Mellon has been completely
absorbed by Future Crew. He Pointed, and where the famous Carnegie
Pineapple once stood was now a donut emblazoned CiViC Reality
TK Collins was confused why the hell would anyone go to Carnegie
Mellon just to see a bunch of ports of Second Reality?
Have you not noticed? MiSFiT turned that most people in the scene
are LAME AS SHIT. Thats why I formed AMiSH. KEEP DA LAMERZ OUT!
They turned and approached STaRPoRT, the relocated WHQ of Future Crew
The LAB, FuelHaus
Time is a window, Nail continued we must remember that it is not
the slumber of reason that engenders monsters, but a vigilant and
truely insomniac rationality.
I know, Nail baby, I know... Ping said, stroking Nails arm. Now be
a good boy and lie down. Dr. Pingi has a lot of experiments to run.
Dont you see that you are doing it wrong? Nail said You are
attempting to test a hypothesis, but a true experiment hypothesizes a
test! It is only in hypotheticals that reality is created.
I know Nail. I know. Go to sleep.
Nail drifted off into the grave solace of slumber. The data swirled
around Ping, each point a universe of light.
You are too nice to him.
Knocturnal. Anyone could recognize that sultry alluring voice. She was
always trying to distract Ping, who decided to ignore her. The work
was too important.
Ignoring me again...
She grabbed Pings wrist. Knoc was beautiful she wore an ACiD beanie
which was hella leet. She had the grace of a dancer, because she was
a dancer.
We could go outside and gaze in the moonlight and eat protein bars...
No thanks.
I have Monster white...and whipped cream vodka.
Im kinda busy right now, Ping said.
Well... I have someone I would like you to meet.
A Kitsune-gao walked in...and giggled.
I like to dance the fox lady said watch me dance!
Ping was awestruck.
Knoc closed the door to the lab. It was going to be a long night.
For Nail.
STaRPoRT, Future Crew WHQ, Civic Reality, Pittsburgh
The room they arrived in was pitch black. They appeared to be floating
in space. A pixellated chessboard appeared below them.
Iz tHiS rIpScRiPt??! FiLTH wondered.
THUNK
A polyhedron vaguely resembling a ball bounced into view.
GREETINGS ANSI SCENE the ball said MY NAME IS DEMOSPLASH. WELCOME
TO CIVIC REALITY.
MiSFiT Snorted.
IT IS ALWAYS GREAT TO SEE FRIENDSHIP BETWEEN RIVAL GROUPS. FRIENDSHIP
IS THE GREATEST GOOD IN THE WORLD.
Were...not....friends. Lord Necro responded.
wErE bEsT FriEnZ iN tHe WhOLe wOrlD, Filth said. He hugged Lord
Necro, who wiped the butter off his suit.
WE HAVE A PROBLEM THOUGH.
Yea -- without a mouth how you gonna suck my dick? MiSFiT asked.
THE PROBLEM...IS YOUR FILENAMING CONVENTIONS. The ball stopped
bouncing.
What...uh...should we be naming things?
START WITH A NUMBER AND THEN ADD REALITY. THIRD REALITY. FOURTH
REALITY. FIFTH REALITY. SIXTH REALITY...
DiD U sAy seXuAliTy?!? I aM eXTrEmElY SEXuaL! FiLTH offered.
ENOUGH! Demosplash said WE WILL GIVE YOU CHROMATIK AND FETT...FOR
A PRICE
Cigarettes? Teakay wondered?
FUTURE CREW STRICTLY VAPES.
Cheeseburgers?
EVERYONE KNOWS THAT YOU DONT GET CHEESEBURGERS. YOU SIMPLY BECOME AN
EFFICIENTLY CODED DEMO FULL OF NOTABLE HACKS AND THE CHEESEBURGERS
WILL SHOW UP ON THEIR OWN.
What do you want, Demosplash?
WE WANT THE WHIP. WE WANT PINGUINOS MAGICAL LIGHT WHIP.
Shes not gonna like that...
Its worth Boba Fetts life tho...
Whatever. MiSFiT snarled we can get Chromatik, u losers can get Boba
and we can go our separate ways.
They handed the whip over to demosplash.
A door opened and they walked through it.
And what they saw...chained to a server rack...was Zeus II.
MiSFiT slapped him.
What...happened? Necro asked
Captured...by Waluigi. Hes...beautiful. Zeus II said.
How long ago?
Days...weeks probably.
We...saw...you...twice....today.
Not me...Ive been here weeks.
If youve been here weeks...then who is walking around FUELHAUS??
FuelHaus, Control Room.
Zeus II walked in and locked the door. He took his face off.
zeus iiis rlly?? m i HAHAHAs HAt HAHA HAi HAg HAr HAi HAs HA4 e v a
this image inspired by Uncanny
X-Men 299 by Brandon Peterson
also greets to my best friend
aesthetic hope your doin grt!
ansis by: necro, ping, avg, tk, mfs of fuel! // nfotainment from mfs