to r
g o s
the cooler. -- 3leetest title ever
a
l 09
There is a cooler in my basement, and frankly
e
it
scares me. Not that coolers in general scare
me, but this particular one does. My m
om bought this
cooler last week, and it has all of the new c
ooler
gadgets, what gadgets can be on a cooler is p
ast me.
Yes, its definatley a top of the line
model, and that
is very rare in my house. We never
have a top of the
line anything. Nothing is never
new, either. Our house
is so old, it came with its own dungeon, tort
ure rack
included. But this co
oler, see, is just stupid. Its
roughly
the size of a buick, but due to its Extra
insulation and flavor keepers, it has the
volume on
the inside of a softball. Just a look at it
and I
st
art to hyperventialate. Hyperventilation is indeed
a mystery of nature, just like mouthwash and
country
western music. When yo
u hyperventialte, you have too
much oxygen in your blood
, so your brain dosent tell your
lungs to breathe wh
ich can be useful underwater, but then
you may pass ou
t, which can also help you out underwater
unless you forget where
you are and try to breathe
again. But this cooler, which probably cost
about the
same as a large,
high grade strategic military weapon, has
a button on the side of it
that not only opens the thing up,
but also starts
some kind of chain reaction in which you get
this huge light and laser show with theme mu
sic that
sounds like the theme song from Th
e A Team that takes
approxamitely 43 minutes, and during
all of this, the lid
is STILL opening. Then some b
ears with muzzles and clowns
and all sorts of circus related beings and ra
ndom woodland
creatures climb out of the cooler. Remember,
despite its
volu
me, which is comparable to a grapefruit, somehow mana
ges to
fit all of these things inside it
. Must be in the way you pack
things, I guess, but then again, it may be a governme
nt conspiracy. But I canttalk about the government,
becuase Ill hyperventialate, and we cant have THAT
,now can we?