darkILL::
chef
D A R K I L L U S T R A T E D 0 8 / 9 8
Welcome to the August 1998 Dark Collection. Once again, we bring you a
wide variety of artwork to feast your minds upon. We pride ourselves on
bucking the stereotypical artpack material, opting for diversity of subject
matter over the popularity of any given comic book character. The flow of
design over the randomness of pretentious artistic endeavours. The
rolls of oily fat over the sleek, toned musculature.
In other words, our priorities are totally fucked up.
Nonetheless, its important to remember: Dark Illustrated is a *group*,
not just a label you release under. And no matter how many of you fake
the friendly attitude and were strictly for the art philosophy, you
ignorant motherfuckers better get this straight:
WE ARE: THE ORIGINALS OF THE ORIGINATORS!
www.darkillustrated.org: the site-----------------------------------------
As many of you may know, darkillustrated.org was down for a few months, but
its back again, and were labouring to make it better than ever. Expect
some exciting design and content within the next few months!
Members, members everywhere, and not a thought to... HEY! SHUT!----------
Weve discovered a few more blind souls have wandered into the dark, lost
forever to the outside world of harsh light.
After many months years, possibly of striving and struggling, ANSI artist
The Chef has finally attained his life-long goal of Dark Illustrated member-
ship. We welcome him as warmly as our incorporeal forms will allow.
Another ANSI newcomer, Luminous strengthens our ranks, bringing with him
a link to our old friend Alla Xul!
Kleenex also returns from his random wanderings, and Carnifex has found the
time in his busy robotic schedule to drop hardcore ANSI artisticisms on a
largely uninspired scene. Weord, smoo. Refusing to let down the old
school, Cyber-X launches another of *his* monster magicks.
The high resolution department hasnt been ignored either. InfoE, X-Ray,
and Massive have all signed on to the heavy-hitter squad, and Burnout
has graced this pack with a couple of BLOATESQUE images.
mistakes were made, feelings were hurt...---------------------------------
Sincere apologies from the Staff for omitting atom in last months member-
list! You have to admit though, with an alias like that, its easy to slip
through the cracks. *nyuk nyuk nyuk*
*** oxygene sets mode: +asskick +death +beat staff*!*@*darkillustrated
dispatch from oxygene-----------------------------------------------------
as dark illustrated slowly moves in to the future, weve had to shed some
skin. a difficult decision was made for what used to be a very important
part of any group. our coding team division has been disolved by the senior
staff, who felt that in the past year nothing serious required the use of
an entire division. in recent months, most programmers are moving away from
development for dos in favour of windows95 interfaces, but those programs
tend to require more individual manpower and time.
dark illustrated is lucky enough to still have epitaph, oxygene and velkro
all whom are programmers, yet each is currently nested in another division.
think of it as an ironman mode. when something needs to be done, well do
it, but were also apart of another division at the same time. its also
an excellent method to distribute some of our multi-talented group members
to get some experience doing other things.
this is not to say were going to stop programming things! au contraire!
reality gave is a quick slap around the head for us to realize we cant
justify a division which has nothing considerable to do.
gone are the days of loaders, viewers and editors.
here come the days of new interfaces, amazing programs, and new innovations
from dark illustrated!
the jam 98: from east to west, darkill rocks the best--------------------
Remember we mentionned The Jam in our last pack? Well, if youre curious
to know what exactly went down, theres a summary complete with pictures
and out-of-context comments up at http://www.interlog.com/xmtrx
A few of our previous meet summaries are also available for browsing.
when darkies hit the fan, the ceiling collapses---------------------------
Please keep in mind: None of these maniacs are on medication.
PBreaker Its hard to steer at 130kph when I have baby strollers stuck
under my car.
PBreaker I would have taken out my piano wire and strangled those Centrum
Silver-sucking motherfuckers.
bohner I wish it was legal to take a small child from the street and beat
the living shit out of him with a garage full of tools, to take
away your frustration.
bohner Even a big child... Im not picky.
darkrose im in a depressed and shitty mood...
---pause---
megaman Yay!
Corinth Away! Eating food. As opposed to rocks and pebbles.
Tgh Hey, Penis Breaker. You there?
PBreaker Yes.
Tgh Oh. I just wanted to see if you were there or not. I need to ask
something.
PBreaker Well, I changed my mind. Im not here.
* 4thds throws a ball against the wall
4thds weee!
PBreaker What the fuck is this garbage? My dog can draw better than this..
and my dogs dead.
Epitaph okay, Ive got a question for you americans atom.
What the hell is national security?
zarkon reason to spend money
* godless is away. Killing inferior life-forms and eating them.
* Epitaph runs back.
Epitaph pant, pant
Epitaph shirt, shirt
Epitaph suit, suit
Epitaph Multiplayer Starcraft PB. He deserves it.
BensnWong No :
Epitaph Oh, dont be a bad-accepter of stuff.
BensnWong No :
sinned there is no such thing as global warming..
*** Epitaph changes topic to oxygene Stupid mornos.
Tgh Hmm. Let me run over to my neighbours house and see if they play SC.
Epitaph ahaha..
Epitaph hopefully they have kali, an internet connection, and the crack.
Tgh Hi. I was wondering if you wanted to play Kali Starcraft with me and
Epitaph. Door slams.
Epitaph Wear a The Green Hornet T-shirt.
Epitaph You need to get one of those.
Epitaph Get one with a picture of Bruce Lee on it.
Tgh I can make buzzing noises too.
Epitaph I wish my dog would stop hunting for food morsels and get a job.
* oxygene doesnt know what hes laughing at but continues to laugh.
Epitaph Thats crazy.
Epitaph Stop it.
Epitaph Im going to protest by sticking my finger in my nostril.
* Epitaph sticks his finger in his nostril.
* atom pushes epis finger up hard and fast
rmaker- its scary how much energy I spend trying to be lazy
rmaker- when I get the urge to exercise I lie down until it goes away.
Epitaph I like drinking lots of coffee every once in a while for fun.
Epitaph Then playing drums or something.
Epitaph It sucks to be an addict though.
burnou7 try paint thinner..
Epitaph You dont drink paint thinner! You sniff it!
Epitaph idiot.
*** burnou7 has quit IRC Broken pipe
*** burnou7 Bohner@shiva3-net209-151-142-ip130.ica.net has joined dark
oxygene You broke your pipe. Way to go.
burnou7 I wish they made it say I bent my wookie :
asoap cause this is my first time, and I dont want to fuck anything up
burnouts thunderthigh masterpiece theatre--------------------------------
Shell have another piece of pie, shell have a double rubin rye.
She works hard at eating well, thats why I love her.
Shes got a couple of pony kegs... her arms are bigger than my legs,
And when she holds me, I cant breath
- thats why I love her.
Yah Im her butter, shes my bread.
Shes like a mobile waterbed... and when I get on top of her,
I cant touch the matress.
And when her flesh begans to sag, shes like a human sleeping bag.
I always know just where she sat... and when shes on me I get flat.
Some broken ribs, a punctured lung
- thats why I love her.
* lemute sniffs sadly...
lemute thats beautiful man.
and in the end, the beginning---------------------------------------------
So long, see you November 1st when the next Dark Collection flattens your
neighbourhood.
-Xypher Matryx, Dark Illustrateds Minister of Propa-Grandeur 09/01/98