67_24: 10th anniversary (info) by blocktronics council
67_24: 10th anniversary (info) by blocktronics council
avg67
Blocktronics info file - Ten year anniversary 08/19/2018
To anybody reading this info file. GREETINGS FROM PLANET BLOCKS!
As most of you know and if you dont then youve obviously been
doing something more productive and less time wasting than following
a group of guys who draw with 2 dimensional lego blocks. But this is
our ten year anniversary pack, that means for ten lousy years weve
grown as a group, shrunk as a group, grown some more, made friends,
lost friends, blackmailed people, used legal extortion on some,
threatened some with revealing photos of them in questionable
circumstances Im talking about you, matt matthew in exchange for
making the group what it is today.. a resentful bunch of no hopers
who have nothing but disrespect and contempt for one another.
As most of you know or dont, it doesnt matter this group was
founded by Luciano and myself lord savage avg back in the year
2008 and a lot of awesome things happened back then which we all tend
to forget about, but Ill remind you of how awesome it was.
It was the year Barack Obama was elected in the FIRST untainted
election since 1996. As some may know Luciano was the PR consultant
for all of Baracks election campaign. Luciano was known for his
genius marketing prowess. He could make a piece of poo look like gold.
If you gave him an extra 50 dollars he could even make it smell like
the taint of matt matthew her taint smells of lavender and rosewater,
so this isnt a bad thing.
Hugh Hefner and Holly Madison also called it quits in 2008.
I know youre probably thinking, who fucking cares right? How is
this relevant to Blocktronics!?? Well, sit back, sip on a fine scotch
and ill tell you.
Back in the Arab nation of Afghanistan there lived a man named Abdully
Wahaa, He was a strong man, a goat herder by trade, a strong man
indeed, but he also had his demons, his struggles which made him weak
in the eyes of his god. It started way back when avg flew over abdullys
hometown on a cold Afghan morning. Reading a Playboy magazine avg
accidently dropped the magazine out of the helicopter and it torpedoed
directly into the face of Abdully, instantly knocking him down to the
ground. Now, some say Abdully was already brain damaged prior to this
incident by a goat kicking him in the face when he tried doing the no
pants dance with his goat friend.
When Abdully woke up he found the Playboy magazine on his chest and
there she was, page 67.. Holly Madison. He fell in love instantly, he
knew at that moment that he had to get a piece of that ass, So like any
responsible goat herder would do, he killed all his goats in return for
an insurance payout, and he bought his ticket to Los angeles to find his
soon to be 76th wife.
In Cuba, their leader Fidel Castro also stepped down after 50 years of
being in power. Some speculated as to why he had quit in 2008, was
there a specific reason?, health?, retirement?, or had he picked up a
new hobby of some sort?
Well, I can tell you now after all this time.. Fidel Castro fled his
failing country and took a boat to the Brazilian coastline and met up
with his old time friend Luciano Enzo again. Luciano was instrumental
in securing Castros success in all of his elections by killing ANY
opposition, oppositions families, and their pets.. Luciano always felt
obligated to Fidel as the smell of Cuban cigars and the blood red
communist star on his outfits were too hard to break away from, it was
truly intoxicating.
Luciano knew it was time for Castro to settle down and live a new life
and they were brainstorming new ideas back and forth, Castro had said
CASTRO: WAT IF WE START AN AMUSEMENT PARK EH?
LUCIANO: Ok, sounds good. what will this amusement park offer?
CASTRO: IT WOULD BE AMUSING TO SEE MY ENEMIES HANGING UPSIDE DOWN WHILE
PEOPLE BEAT THEM TO DEATH WITH A STICK LIKE A PINATA.
LUCIANO: GOD DAMNIT...
Luciano ended up putting Castro in front of a computer with PabloDraw
running. The word Pablo reminded Castro of his long lost brother who
he lost to the Cuban fever 30 years prior. It brought back emotions
which he thought were buried long ago.. he saw it as a sign and kept
hitting the f4, f3, f5, f6 keys.. bashing away he drew his first font
it was a dedication to his brother Pablo and the Cuban fever that had
taken his life. The font looked like this.
fuck you cuban fever
-castr0
And he knew at that moment that this was his true calling in life, to
become a full time ansi artist, NOBODY WOULD SUSPECT CASTRO HAD FLED
CUBA TO BECOME A FULL TIME ANSI BOY.
Luciano had suggested he create a nick name to avoid authorities from
closing in on him, and it was right there.. on the screen.
CASTRO: THE CUBAN FEVER - IN MY BROTHERS MEMORY..
LUCIANO: Maybe change it to the creep fever, you dont want to bring
attention to yourself.
CASTRO: DEAL.
And there you have it, TCF was reborn and a fully fledged member of 67
he would now be known as the creep fever.
The year 2008 was a HUGE year. Did you know back then the Pussycat
Dolls were still relevant?, But did you know that right after 2008
they were falling apart, Blocktronics may have had something to do
with this, let me explain.
Radman was the 6th silent member of the Pussycat Dolls. He was hired
by the girls to do all the song writing. After his first contribution
was the song dont cha they were immediately hooked with how Radman
came up with lyrics like:
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?
Dont cha?
We saw this as an opportunity to pounce on Radman and get him to work
on the Blocktronics front, after much negotiations around a circular
faux timber table with lots of cigar smoke hovering in the room we
came to some type of formal agreement. I cant remember how it exactly
went down but it was something along the lines of...
RADMAN: I WANT 100,000K PER MONTH, I WANT A HOOKER BY THE NAME OF
ANSICHRIST BY MY SIDE AT ALL TIMES, I WANT... LET ME SEE
looks around the room THAT POSTER OF VAN DAMNE, BRAGGING
RIGHTS TO BLOCKTRONICS FOREVER, A PACK DEDICATED TO MY
LEGENDARY NAME AND UNLIMITED OLIVES.
AVG: I LITERALLY CANT GIVE YOU 95 OF THAT.
RADMAN: WELL, WHAT CAN YOU GIVE?
AVG: ANSICHRIST.. TAKE HIM, HES A WHORE, YOU GET BRAGGING RIGHTS
AND WE CAN TALK ABOUT DEDICATING A PACK IN YOUR NAME.
RADMAN: WHAT ABOUT 100K PER MONTH?
AVG: HOWS ABOUT A MONTHS SUPPLY OF EXPIRED OLIVES?
RADMAN: DEAL-I-0!
It was at this point i noticed Radman creeping over to the corner of
the room as he was about to leave.
AVG: NOT THE FUCKING VAN DAMNE POSTER THAT SHITS MINE BRUH.
RADMAN: GOD DAMNIT, COME ON MAN.. ILL MAKE IT WIRTH YOUR WHILE.
AVG: NO, LUCIANO WOULD KILL ME IF THE VAN DAMNE POSTER WENT MISSING.
IT WAS GIVEN TO HIM BY HIS NEIGHBOUR WHO WAS MOVING HOUSE AND
SHE HAD NO USE FOR IT ANYMORE, SO SHE LEFT IT AT HIS FRONT DOOR
STEP AND RAN OFF.. LUCY THOUGHT IT WAS A GIFT FROM GOD SO ITS
QUITE SENTIMENTAL AND MEANINGFUL TO HIM, IF THIS WENT MISSING
HE WOULD SURELY BEAT US ALL INTO SUBMISSION.
RADMAN: sucking on a olive YAH.. SO.
AVG: LOOK MAN, HOWS ABOUT WE JUST DEDICATE PACK 2 TO YOUR AWESOMENESS?
RADMAN: spits out olive pit onto floor DEAL.. MAKE IT GOOD. WONT CHA?
And thats the origins of how Radman came about to join this crew, he
no longer keeps in touch with the Pussycat Dolls and they havent had
a top 40 hit since radman has left.
The vampire craze had become very mainstream in 2008 with thanks to
gay movies like Twilight and they continued to become popular movies
with the lonely girl audience who wanted their own vampire in their
life to puncture their face with fangs and have the blood sucked dry
from their bodies, yet the moment they see a bee hovering past them
or a spider they drop a turd on the floor and run faster than
a starved Usain Bolt whos just seen a McDonalds on the horizon.
This movie rubbed one of the worlds most oldest vampires the wrong
way.
His name was Nail. He, like many other walking vampires of the world,
was so infuriated by how his kind were being portrayed, in his words
a total misrepresentation. Being the only German vampire left on earth
he was the only vampire that could bring proper order to vamplife and
correct all these fuck ups that Hollywood were doing. Nail never had
fat, ugly, lonely, 1000 cat owning women who wore shirts of Edward
throwing themselves at him, he was used to the high life of being a
vamp, this included models, hookers, cocaine, midget performers who
handled tigers on unicycles, the finest scotch and schnapps and most
importantly heavy metal music on vinyl as how it was intended to be
heard.
The final nail in the coffin was when he heard that the movie was
to be named Twilight after one of his most favourite ansi art
groups that ever existed.
NAIL THIS MEANS WAR.. staring out the window whilst sharpening his
blade.
5 movies had passed and nail was still cussing out his window
sharpening his knife, this is from 2008 all the way to 2012, he
finally got his shit together and flew to the United states to put an
end to this once and for all.
Nail had tracked Edward and Bella sitting on some park bench
LIGHTS OUT MOTHERFUCKER. - WHISPERS NAIL.
There were no more Twilight movies after that, much to Nails
satisfaction.. there was order back in the vamp world and Nail
resumed his life reaping the benefits of being a key member of
Blocktronics, one of which is this re-enactment ansi of how shit went
down.
Fast forward to 2012, Does anybody remember KONY 2012?, WHERE IS
KONY??
We werent bothered with the hype of some silly african war lord, we
had bigger fish to catch.. TCF and LUCIANO had written and glued on
the back of Lucianos Van Damme poster names and maps of where some
remaining ansi artists may be wandering.
LOCATION.. PITTSBURGH
TARGET.. MISFIT AND FILTH THE DESTROYER.
Fast forward to 2013 TCF has had success in locating these two rejects
of society. DEMOSPLASH in Pittsburgh would be the place to take them
down and force them into the illegal slave ansi artist trade of
blocktronics. We knew that there was no way that they would go down
without a fight, girly slaps or a sandal being thrown somewhere
potentially breaking an elderly persons garden knome, so we had to be
cautious.
TCF rounded up Smoke, Textmode Exorcist and Radman and arranged to
meet up with Misfit and Filth at Filths home. Smoke had a curfew
which was imposed by his girlfriend and he wasnt supposed to be away
from home longer than 17 minutes. So they had to be quick.
TCF: Hey Misfit ive got something to show you in the back of my trunk
MISFIT: WHAT IS IT?.
SMOKE: Its an unopened Star Wars figure from the 1970s
Misfit walks over to the trunk and handles the figure..
MISFIT: WAIT A MINUTE, THIS IS STAR FIGHTER THE CHINESE KNOCK OFFS!!
Just as Misfit realises whats happening TCF gets him in a headlock and
throws him into the trunk, the Textmode Exorcist quickly uses his
body weight for good and jumps on top of Misfit, taking the breath out
of him, it was at that stage misfit knew he couldnt push Textmode
Exorcist off him, and so did Textmode Exorcist know that he didnt
have the energy to jump off him.
FILTH: STAY AWAY FROM ME MAN pulls off a sandal and threatens everyone
RADMAN: YOU WONT..
FILTH: WONT I??? starts walking towards radman with a very smelly
sandal
It was at that stage Radman pulls out a printout from 1994 which was
an application for Acid Productions.
oo
oName: filtH dA d357R0YAyO....................................o
oPosition: I MAKE THE BESTEST ARTS yO!.........................o
oo
oWhy should we accept you?o
oi really like this girl named beth and shes into art. i rly..o
owant to get into art so i can sex her hehe and be so cool heheo
oi also need someone to draw me a love he4rt in 4nsi so i can..o
og1v3 it tO betH aND maYb3 she w1LL sex me.. dont tell anyone.o
oi also have the latest wU tANG CD and i can burn a copy for yoo
oon my 1x cd burner with my uber L337 pentium 66...............o
oif you accept me i will be in debt with you forever. I WILL BEo
oDA COOLEST GUY IN YO GRIZZOUP YO!.............................o
o SIGNED FILTH THE DESTROYER..94.
RADMAN: WE HAD A DEAL.. sucking on a olive
FILTH: THAT WAS ALMOST 20 YEARS AGO!, hey you got a olive spare?
RADMAN: IVE GOT A WHOLE DAMN JAR IN THE BACK OF THE CAR, IF YOU COME
WITH ME ITS ALL YOURS!!
FILTH: DEAL BRO!
As Filth grabs the jar of olives he realises that the expiry date on
them was well past its freshness date, approximately 6 years, 7 months
to be exact..
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. THE BAND WAS BACK TOGETHER.. FORCEFULLY.
We are a group of brothers
heres to another 10 years of brotherhood.