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serials visit to mars!@ an intergalactic story of udder stupidity!
the story begins on earth, with our four valiant heroes, sargon, meatpod,
queer killer, and terrato. after meeting in the previous story, tguardians
revenge, and after meatpod and sargon being mysteriously reincarnated, the
four managed to get together. they walked down the street, looking for
something to negate the lurking boredom among them. they turned into a small
alleyway, and after they walked for 5 or so minutes, they saw a back door
leading into a cinder block building. the sign said cryogenics in bright
blue lettering. ,d P
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sargon: hey, doesnt that mean like, shrooms and drugs and stuff?
meatpod: uh, yeah, i think so.. lets go in!
qkiller: i dont know, should we go in? it looks suspicious..
queer killer was silenced by a swift punch to the nose, thrown by terrato, who
never seemed to talk. they entered into a cold, dry room, with 6 coffin like
modules around the room. they went up to one, and opened it, and looked inside. they saw a 200 pound man with long sideburns and a dumb looking haircut.
meatpod: hey, its elvis! sargon: woah.. i wonder if we can revive him.
they took his body and stuck it on a heater, and warmed it up. 5 minutes later,
the figure woke up, and began to dance around, shaking his chubby legs.
elvis: AINT NOTHING BUT A HOUND DOG.. YEAH!
sargon: uhh, wtf? shut up gimp.
elvis: yEAH, heartbreak hotel! heartbreak hotel!
meatpod: shut the fuck up you annoying gimp, get a hair cut, and stop singing. elvis continued to sing for the next 10 minutes, and the four ran to the door, not being able to stand the annoying screech anymore, only to find it was
locked. panicked, they glanced at each other and headed for the other freezers. they found 4 empty ones, and jumped in..
40 years later...
our four heroes woke up, to find themselves in pools of lukewarm water. they
hurriedly opened the compartments, and crawled out, dripping puddles of water
all over the floor. they went to the door, and it was still locked. they picked up a freezer with a joint effort, and rammed the door with it, knocking it
open. they stepped out into the alley, and noticed a car flying overhead.
sargon: uh, we must be in heaven, or something.
meatpod: no, we are in the future, dumbass.
qkiller: woah, this rules.
they walked out of the alley, onto a sidewalk near a 326 lane, 4 level
air-highway. cars zoomed by. they saw a sign on the other side of the street.
shuttle to.. mars - the red planet!
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sargon: woah, dont we live on mars?
meatpod: no dumbass, but we could go there anyways..
qkiller: why??
meatpod: uhh, what else have we got to do? earth is still boring..
sargon: lets go..
they boarded a shuttle, and sat, impatiently.
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the shuttle docked in a station about 30 minutes later, and the four awoke
from light sleep. they stepped out of the terminal and entered a large room
with all sorts of life. they were frisked by a fat, green, female martian with
long tentacles.
meatpod: ooh baby..
sargon: Eww. thats gross
they were then sent to a chair outside an office with a sign on the door with
about 30 different languages. somewhere in the middle, written in english, was
immigration. they walked in, and a jolly nerd, complete with glasses,
braces, and pimples greeted them.
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warpus: hi, welcome to immigration. on mars, we only cater to the intelligent and gifted. to be admitted, you must solve some math problems. here
is the test. you have two minutes.
they looked at the test, and it had 3 problems.
2 + 2
2 * 2
2 / 2
sargon: uh, dude, this is like, too complicated. were fucked.
they sat there, puzzled, until a buzzer went off. the nerd re-entered the room, and looked at the blank papers.
warpus: im sorry, but you guys will have to leave now, the shuttle is that
way, may i please have the testing fee of 25 snarfulz each?
sargon: uh.. we dont have any money...
warpus then whistled, and a monstrous purple creature entered the room.
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threw them out, where they floated and ate space waste for the rest of their
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the end. warpus: i love you, i know yer not really a nerd. that pic would have
been more fitting for tguardin :