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-elvis making sausages backyard
- a story of a musician, and his fight to the top.
once upon a time there was a rock and roll star who was named elvis, and he was
raised on a ranch in tennesee. his dad taught him that the only thing more
important than rock and roll was sausages - the musical meat. the reason for
that was that it always brought a certian aroma and a noise to the house of
elvis. he always ate sausages, ate them for breakfast, ate them for dinner,
even ate them for lunch. at times he ate them as a snack. but there was a
problem to him eating so many sausages, kids made fun of him, they called him
mean things like pelvis elvis because when he ate them he had a tendency to
make a pelvic movement, elvis the rocking sausage the name explains himself,
and stupid names like elvis the stupid son of a bitch. again, the name explainsitself. now, elvis was a stupid son of a bitch, we do now know why they called
him this next name -- elvis the backyard sausage animal was very mysterious to
him for the simple reason that he never made sausages in the backyard, always
in front yard so he could catch the love of his life have sex to her husband..
so after a while of being called names, he decided to ask one of his friends whythey called him this name, it was very puzzling to him. he felt that they shouldhave called him elvis the frontyard peeping sausage animal. but they didnt calmthis and he was very disgruntled. he was like a goat. so then he decided to ask
one of his friends, ed sullivan, why they called him this wierd name. his answerwas one of his most difficult answers that hes ever had to answer to, even more
difficult than the answer to are you my father, and mommy, why are you a
lesbian, and why didnt you tell me? . and he was very angry at the response
he got from ed sullivan.. his answer..
BECAUSE YOU ARE A SAUSAGE!
because i am a sausage? he cried with all his might? what the fuck does that
mean. thats it, thats the last time im ever asking advice from you again.
and he left the room. but then he was thinking about it, and he took off his
pants. and he looked down, and he looked and he saw.. a sausage! ok, he thought
to himself, i might as well do what they say, and fry up some sausages in the
backyard. so he did, and he thought it was even better because he could look
at the second love of his life, his mom, take a shower. if you saw his mom,
you would look at her too. . so after 2 months of barbecuing in the backyard, tragedy struck, and his father passed away. he was heart broken, and he decided that he was going to take a trip around the world. so of course, he did.
and elvis went around the world, feeling much better after making many sausages,sleeping with many prosititues, and singing, he was offered a job at a local
pub, to sing for the locals, and since they were drunk, they couldnt tell
if he sang good or bad, but suprisingly, he was good! damn good so he made
some money, and decided to go over to the love of his lifes house, and he
brought her a very generous gift, not chocolate, not flowers, but instead, he
gave her.. a sausage?! she was so mad.. she fell for him. she took off all
her clothes, and screwed him infront of his boyfriend. now her boyfriend was
understanding, her boyfriend was lienient, but her boyfriend couldnt stand this, so he decided that he was going to kill elvis. so before he killed him with
his semi-automatic uzi that shot pepper spray, bullets, french fries, sausages,
torpedos, needles, and deadly weapons like that. and sometimes, if he was lucky,it shot 300 things a half second. so he pulled up the uzi, and pointed it at
elvis, and elvis yelled, but his yell was like hey pretty momma and it soundedlike a song to him.. so he told him to dance, and he did the forrest gump dance.so it was like, wow. this guy was a natural. so he said that it was ok that he
slept with his wife, as long as he signed a contract that said that he would
get no profit, and the only thing that he would get was a box full of sausages,
a new barbecue, a mannequin that looked like his dad, and he would get elite
access to a posse called society. so in the end, after months of touring,
travelling, eating sausages, and making albums, he still ended up where he
started from, only now that he had unlimited sausages, he made a profit of over
12 thousand dollars a year. and he lived until he was 100, so he made over
430 million dollars to leave to his kid who was a monkey, named lisa marie.
she married a man named micheal jackson, but it was a fake marriage, and she
made over 12 million dollars, leaving the elvises with over 12 trillion
dollars they didnt know any math. and in the end 3 things didnt change
1 they were damn stupid
2 they had a damn lot of money archangelsoc lisa marie 3 they kept eating those damn sausages 77SSIi:iISS77 .g4ISSIiIISSI4g.THE END .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,. ,gg4b. ISSISS .dI4Ig, P4P4 I II: ISIS7 :I II
P .-. :: .-. 4 7g7gAGg..gIGAg7g7 - T - Ig,,.g5II,.IIGgg,,g basndbasnd ISSS.,7b.,SSII IISSSGGg,. .ggGGAASSIelvis - PSSoh my IISSSII?777IISSSS .,ss. ho sleptISSS7.,gg4GAIIgg4IIIg,.7IISS I ,nQb. I with my SS7,a:7III7IIa.IISS . n SP, ma SSI:II: Iggg II.IIS .,sSISSbsssd SSI:II :III,IISS SII:II :I,IISso the moral of the story is: SSII.bgg45II5ggg7,ISS SSIIg,75IIII57,:IISS ............. SSSIIGg,.. .,:IISSS
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sausages : ggg : :
is yummy! : : a :
whew did what: :............quest.....:
aneurysm - society logo, story, and elvis
archangel - lisa marie
quest - sausages logo
the moral of the story is:
dem sausages is tasty!