The Battle Standing atop the hill, admiring the carnage below, i noticed a faint humming to my left. i slowly turned around to see a thing. it was about 3 meters tall and the only other thing i remember was it's large gaping maw and sharp claws. it pointed at me and rubbed its belly and laughed, a wicked growling laugh that gave me the feeling something bad was about to happen. without warning i jumped at him, axe ready, and he simply sidestepped me. i growled in anger but when i was ready to charge him, a flash of light appeared and i was temporarily blinded, and out of a twisting black portal came a man dressed in a black robe with stars near the bottom. he motioned me to go into the portal and when i only snarled he snapped his fingers and i had the sudden urge to go into the portal. I gleefully stepped into the portal and i felt a twisting at my guts. i was trying to scream, and if i was i couldn't tell because the noise was tremendous. as i flipped and twisted through the stars i began to think about what was going on. all the sudden i found myself lying flat on the grass of what looked to be a park of some sorts. i mean there were people around me but they look different somehow. warped and twisted, not physically, but like i could see their souls. When i approached one of the beings, one pushing a smaller one in some sort of wheeled device, she (it? it looked to be a she pushing a baby) spoke to me in a language that sounded like some sort of high speed mumbling. fearing for my life i left that place and was going across a pathway when this giant metal beast with 2 torches in the front almost ran into me and one of these peoples leaned out from inside of it and yelled something that sounded very hostile. i walked around to see more of these people speaking in the same language and decided that i needed to learn. but didn't know where to begin. it was later that night when i fell asleep between two huge rock structures when the wizard came to me in my sleep. maybe i wasn't asleep because i wouldn't have remembered it so vividly. he stepped out of the darkness at the end of the debris strewn alley and placed a necklace around my neck and whispered into my ear the word "walker" and the faded into mist before me. the next day when i went out i found that, even though it still sounded like horses talking, i could understand them, and they me. i asked where i was and when i did, they stared at me in amusement and called me rip van winkle. i desperately needed to learn more about their society and this rip van winkie or who ever he was. i was lost in thought when this young man walked up to me and asked me where i got my duds and when i asked him what he meant he laughed and said, "clothes man, where'd ya get the clothes?" to which i replied, "i got them from the king's tailor." and he laughed in my face and said that i was crazy. i told him that i was not and he told me that i need to get some more "flash" clothing. remembering the night before and the portal, i twitched quickly when he said the word "flash". I asked him where to get these flash clothes and he told me to follow him. i said ok, figuring any help was better than none. on the way to a place he affectionately called "the gap", i asked him who rip van winkle was and he told me that he was a man that was put to sleep for 200 years. i stood there stunned and he laugh and told me that he was a fictional character and that he wasn't real. i let myself relax some and followed him to this clothing store. As we walked through the enourmous glass doors, i was wondering how they got this much clear glass. i walked in and gazed around. everything looked very much alike and had things on them like "mossimo" and "stussy" and wanted to laugh. so i did. when the guy asked me what was so funny i told him that a "stussy" was a small hairless rodent that cowers in corners and eats his own feces, his face went red with anger. so i didn't even tell him about the mossimo king. the one who had an affair with him mother and sister. Horace Pinker SAUCE00the battle horace pinker anger 00960205!P